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cell_destroyer

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cell_destroyer last won the day on May 3

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About cell_destroyer

  • Birthday 01/01/1904

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  1. We're trying to discourage pirating content, Eagle
  2. Both cell-snaps games, in 1080p format. RR Cell vs Snaps I.w3g RR Cell vs Snaps II.w3g
  3. You just earned yourself another forum I always had faith you had another schism left in you. Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
  4. Don't worry bkid, Abdel's setting up a 3rd forum so we can have room to store every time you melted into a puddle
  5. Do i have a chance to win Tabletop Simulator if i participate? Cniper does game giveaways, how can Abdel compete
  6. Final update before draft, added a few that were missing (ape, finrod, moniack, grimgorr) and tweaked a few. 13th finally moved to 13th spot and Super Trunks is officially out of the top 25. Jim moved off 18th spot, as requested.
  7. Our human resource's department has received the most complaints about your ranking eagleman, closely followed by jimmy's ranking also called overrated. Can you prove them all wrong?
  8. The roster composed of people i know little and people i wish i knew less (Dayne) has finally arrived. This roster will NOT be useful for the tournament that is destined to fail since there’s not a cohesive community around the game. This will be kept short, as it’s likely Spencer will tear a quad while reading this. Battle Prowess: Means how efficient you are utilizing your armies, in terms of how many units can you kill without having many deaths in your own army. It's basically microing. Hero Targeting: How efficient you are at using your heroes and killing enemy (or allied) heroes, it also takes into account how effective you are with each colour, so spare us the “i got 20 hero kills as LB/Red!!”. Plays: A big x-factor for player talent, how creative and impactful are the plays you make. Teamwork: How well you work with your team, including setting up team fights, doing objectives together and TEAM HEALING. Mentality: The mental strength of the player, how much he can handle adversity, stay focused and not bring everyone else down with him. Very important in competitive matches and for team cohesion in long-term. Awareness: How aware the player is of everyone else’s movements, including the enemies and themselves if there are multiple battles where he’s involved. For the next songs, just add "repeat" after youtube in the link and songs will automatically repeat. 1- Aragorn-Elessar / Ele Battle Prowess: 100 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 90 Awareness: 100 Overall: 94 A legend in BFME, but not so much in RR. Infact, not at all. Also has legendary disdain for honourable members of the community such as Nubz. Despite this, he has become very proficient at managing the LOTR community in wc3, as it is rumoured he has a harem of 70 euro sluts ready to please him whenever he claps, with Assa being his top hoe. Arguably one of the best players in the game, he has mastered the art of building farms in the middle of nowhere and having rough hate fuck sex with koreans which go by the name “private matches”. 2- Immortal_GoD / Pal Battle Prowess: 100 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 95 Overall: 92 The pal. Also known as the “Jannetty”. Used to be one of the biggest and strongest athletes in Pakistan, until recently when he was outed as a flat track bully who wants overpowered heroes waving armies down and no collision between units so as to avoid learning proper footwork. After failing to get ring wars over as a prominent map due to having the terraining skills of a Humvee driving through play doh, he arrived on the fields of Westeros. Initially, he struggled to adapt to RR’s QWER system due to being used to the c-v-b-k-l-ñ hotkeys of RW, however, he still obtained victories due to his manager Glorf running interference in his matches and cheating to help him win. In time, he became one of greatest warriors in Robert's Rebellion and usually had to avoid using revealing clothing for fear of Assassin being fascinated with him. He was at his best and reached the top 1% of players, pleasuring himself by german suplexing other players 20 times in a game and big leaguing everyone in sight. For some time, he was truly the undisputed champion of RR. But just like Mike Tyson at his peak got together with Don King and went downhill, so did the pal meddle with the wrong kind of people, in the form of Dayne. He became his partner in crime, the most hated heel tag team in the business and both proceeded to reach unrecorded levels of pettiness, by bullying Onlooker and synister_ and sharing pictures of their exploits on their instagram joint account. After meeting dayne, his gimmick changed. He began wearing clown makeup to his matches, gained saggy mantits, his cholesterol levels rose and became bloated, even breaking the undisputed belt strap with his gut. Nowadays, he’s only in RR for the money, he plays as a part-timer once every 3 months and as soon as his match ends, he will leave in his helicopter, not interacting with any fans or team members. It is only by destroying the negative influence of dayne, that the old pal can come back to being the undisputed champion. 3- Redlance246 / Pandaman Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 95 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 95 Overall: 92 A succesful result of cross-species interbreeding after the last one failed (ie. EagleMan), Pandaman enjoys creative use of bamboo sticks in 24 player sexual orgies, while also enjoying Robert’s Rebellion. He’s one of the few knights left with honour in RR, as long as he participates in the captain role, otherwise he risks losing all of it. This cute animal also evolved to protect any lesser creature that seeks him out, such as the.dude, from more skilled opponents. He will also pee on the.dude’s head frequently to ward off any potentially dangerous predators when he’s not around. Recently, he was made an honourable knight of GoTE for his efforts against HOTJ. 4- Reaver Battle Prowess: 95 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 85 Overall: 90 Now here we have someone who is the very definition of “bad pussy”. It’s been a long torturous ride for Reaver. From being in the banjo relegation league, to rising into the RobReb all-star team. Unfortunately, his newfound skill set doesn’t match his social skillset, preferring to garb out one word insults while gobbling on food “mghrhr noob, mhrmghr faggot”. Reaver is one of the greatest warriors on the field, however it is rumoured he has one fatal weakness, with his dick becoming flaccid when you take away his overpowered archer volley or his Vale elite knights. Once castrated from his preferred weapons, Reaver becomes like any other RR player, making him very reliant on playing orange or blue. 5- Assassin88 Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 100 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 90 Overall: 88 One of the driving forces behind RR, when he realized his BFME career was over. He read all 50 pages of Sun Tzu’s art of war in one year, misinterpreting it into thinking he needs at least an 80% chance of winning to be willing to play. This also extends to needing the biggest steak in a BBQ, the sturdiest legos in the house and the most fetid shit in the toilet. The constant search for having the game balance suited to his needs may be a properly developed Munchausen syndrome, which means Assassin will need every psychological defense mechanism to be able to withstand an auction draft with players he may not know. This excessive preoccupation about not having the advantage leads him to forget his own skills, so whichever captain acquires him must nurse him every now and then to remind him he’s a good player and doesn’t need all of the gold in the world. But not all is negative in this attitude, it reminds us of a fundamental philosophical question of our time, the difference between needing and wanting. The latest of his accomplishments is writing a 1.100 page manuscript on how to play RR, just short of lacking the epilogue on how to imbalance and stack teams, a great short read for newcomers. 6- EagleMan Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 95 Plays: 95 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 100 Awareness: 85 Overall: 88 The gift that keeps on giving things that nobody asked for in the first place. EagleMan is currently the only running candidate for worst GoTE chieftain of all time for single handedly running it to the ground and tanking the active player base. He’s one of those kings that don’t inspire any loyal following , only appearing during feasts with a phantom of the opera mask on, insulting the nobles with word play and double entendre for 15 minutes and then immediately leaving to his chambers afterwards. During the entirety of his reign, he never once described his tax policies or gave orders to his small council. Various court nobles have described him as asexual and mysterious, carefully hiding his intentions until it’s too late for his political rivals to notice, perhaps this is why Eagle has accumulated more heads on spikes than actual loyal recruits for his clan. They also have noted many of his more bizarre behaviours, such as asking people if they had a shower multiple times during the day, spend the time in his chambers randomly calling people and hanging up before they answer, take an entire 2 hours to drink a cup of wine he drinks with a small golden spoon, and last but not least, getting his nails done only to look at them like they’re about to explode. It may seem that he has the total personality of half a Keanu Reeves, with his immaculate appearance of soft white hands and wearing soft angry birds slippers, but one look at his history reveals the multiple undeserved bannings, power abuses, backstabbings, coup d’ tats and mentally torturing of people. His ruthlessness is also well documented, as once he’s angered, his chest will turn red like a machine from I robot and will have no problem chopping any heads off. Possessing the ability to remain emotionally detached and unmoved after watching the deaths of his allied armies after refusing to send help, his house maids will note there’s always white stains on the sheets the very next morning after this happens. Nobody knows why this happens. Having never bled before for the clan he usurped, he became interested in RR in an attempt to save his reputation in front of his clan. Once inside a battle, he becomes laser focused to the point that drool starts falling onto his keyboard while he obsessively tries to snipe an enemy spawn. All of this while pretending to listen to team’s plans, only to selfishly abandon his team which goes into big battles with one EagleMan less. He also has no qualms about creating an army of EagleBots and overloading discord channels. All of the qualities previously mentioned and his frequent charges into the enemy generals make him one of the most dangerous players in the roster of Robert’s Rebellion. 7- Numudan Battle Prowess: 100 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 90 Overall: 87 The night king himself of the Japanese Hikikomori. He’s barely known in the RR community, but everyone from ISH fears him, as he has a higher apm than all of the roster combined. Numudan has barely played in RR, but once he learns each colour, he will be a forced to be reckoned with due to the korean fingers he possesses. 8- BolvarFordragon / Bolvar Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 95 Overall: 86 One half of the root admins of the OG discord, he adds the “old” in Old Guard. Traumatized by having half of his face burnt by inraky in the past and having to get a 3 year long medical license, Bolvar carries this lifelong wound with him, leaving him with eyes filled with sadness and trembling in terror at the sight of any form of competition. Armed with a flawless ability to procrastinate and his “never give up, just don’t participate” attitude, Bolvar will seek to change the course of his history and redeem his embarrassing first tournament performance. 9- Kaptajn_Snaps Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 95 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 80 Overall: 86 GRR Martin himself, who takes 3 years to bring out an update and is the promised prince to lead the community to the promised land in the form of the ASOAIF/RR hybrid, however this has the same chances of being released as GRR Martin releasing his final 2 books. Due to the devotion he has for his friends, he adds -emote’s for them, so as to signal when they are sexually aroused and want to begin the mating ritual. Being the mapmaker, he knows every dirty trick in the book, his weapon of choice is the paper mache (scratch) ironfleet, which he uses to rain down landings upon landings over lannisters, usually ending with the Pyke getting burnt down 5 minutes after. 10-The_13th_Legend / 3rd / 11th / 27th Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 The eunuch of the community. There is a sharp contrast between the fluidity of his accent with the disaster that are his game movements. His strategy consists of staying away from big battles, using his one control group for archers in an attempt to damage the enemy, which has the impact of being thrown a pack of gummy bears. Once he has lost his precious archers, he will proceed to flip-flop throughout the battlefield in a spastic manner and lose all of his heroes. 13th has such a disorienting personality that it will make you think you walked into an episode of the Twilight Zone with no real personality. The only real discernible personality trait in him is his neediness for Panther, his insatiable hunger for sucking on his nipples along with the distinct brown nose he wears whenever he leaves panther’s room. Panther has also taught him the proper moves in the devil’s tango. But his heart is in store for another person, in the form of Super_Trunks, who he fights alongside like a sacred theban band and also sleeps and baths with, like a sacred theban band. Together, they possess the power of love, capable of beating anyone in the battlefield (scratch) each other off. 11- the.dude / Hannicuck / Cuckibal / Hannibal Barcuck / the.cuck / his cuckness / el cuckerino / Brian Cringe Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 The second most successful mapmaker of wc3, having created the immensely popular Warcraft: Total War with 1 million sales within the first week and over 100 GB of content. A map nigh unparallelled, only surpassed by Sukramo’s Third War. Managed to acquire a lady-friend (wife) when they both realized she was into the whole brevity thing. Also acquired another friend, as when his wife’s boyfriend walked into the house, sat on his couch and started playing with his Nintendo Switch, Brian abided. This means he also has to take care of his wife’s son by buying him Godzilla toys, which may hurt brian’s chances of playing a game uninterrupted. As for the skills, this is a complex player to analyze, you know a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. What remains in the end is that any kind of aggression he takes towards an opponent will not stand, and he will have to go brown-nose daddy lance to bail him out. In absence of lance, he will seek security in his wife’s boyfriend or go bowling, dodging RR. If you acquire him as a player, he will really tie the team together, but don’t expect him to be bowling ten pins without the help of his dad Lance. 12- Wolff Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 A warrior of unparalleled integrity, known for delivering on his promises, such as his promise to leave RR and quitting it for a total amount of 3 nights and 2 days with the luxury suite included. He’s back from his vacations and now wants to take no prisoners, only needing 2 hour blocks to conquer the kingdom. 13- Radagast. Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 75 Overall: 83 The name radagast was picked when he tried to convince 4 other friends to name themselves after the Istari wizards, unfortunately nobody else followed him. Carefully chosen to be the scapegoat of the HOTJ community in the case of any loss, it is said that Elessar harnessed nuclear and solar energy in an attempt to power up his rhosgobbel rabbits and give him more mobility in games. Being the Trench] of their own community, it is expected that he is the go-to punching bag for any jokes made at someone’s expense. For mysterious reasons, he seems to acquire bonus damage against koreans. Radagast will attempt to become a prominent player by volunteering to captain, despite only knowing 15% of the players. It is also expected his strategy will consist of acquiring euro’s only, due to their penchant for endogamy in tournaments. 14- Spankfurt / Spencer Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 83 "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Spankfurt has joined voice chat." The man willing to donate his ass when someone has to be taught the ways of his people from Nova Scotia. This ancient tradition of his to be given the reacharound constantly has resulted in our dear Spencer becoming temporarily a cripple and needing a wheelchair to move. Fortunately, he can still lower the height of his chair to punish someone with the ol’ Hoover maneuver and get his mouthwash. A quick tip for the captain of any team with this man, he’s got a big mouth, it’s better to put it to use on pleasuring somebody instead of letting him bark out tactics in the form of potential blunders. Preferring to get red faced and clenching his teeth while attempting to bring everyone down like a sinking cruiser instead of copying with reality, once Spencer loses focus in the game, he will use Displacement into the nearest possible target and begin shitting watery diarrhea all over his own team. His in-game roaring got so loud that Metro Goldwyn Mayer hired him to get down on all 4 limbs and start filming him for their next feature presentation intro. If you find yourself in voice chat with him, one spoken word can lead you to bite yourself to extract the venom and hope you age quickly to speed up the process of hearing loss. His voice chat behaviour in HoTS led to him being referred to as “That Thing”. The origins of this monster creature go back to his premature birth, after he scared away his mother’s umbilical cord by shouting “This amniotic fluid was not SEASONED, YOU FUCKING DONKEY”. Following this, he had a childhood marked by acting out whenever he didn’t receive his pacifier and introducing the concept of fingering to other kids. Once he was grown, he started disguising himself as an eloquent host, he will try to keep up an image for the community and loudly tell anecdotes, to distract everyone away from the inordinate amount of skeletons in his closet. Only a few know the hidden truth, that choosing to become a friend of Spankfurt is a bigger horror story than a night stay at Clegane keep. Fleeting doubts about his britishness were dissipated when he got back his DNA results (scratch) confessed attraction for Maisie Williams. Nowadays he has acquired his wc3 loicense and become the Master of Coin of the community, which means he spends his time getting the kingdom in debt to organize the RR tournament and seething at eagleman’s full set of hair. 15- kpiche Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 90 Awareness: 80 Overall: 83 I’m not even sure what this is. 16- drovermodz Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 85 Overall: 83 If you have been in one drovermodz game, you have seen all of them. You must have heard the weeping in the north and the constant whining about the pathing or why isn’t everyone playing Battle for Middle Earth. This means that drover likes his comfort zone, and anything not remotely resembling his comfort zone will throw him into a fit and possibly end up in a rage quit to go host his own lobby. Whenever drover can manage to keep his emotions in check, he has the potential to be a strong player. 17- elchabalin / El Becario / Señorin / Señorito Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 85 Overall: 82 Hailing from Cataluña, chabal manages to be America’s Most Blunted despite living in another continent. True to his spanish ancestry, he also carries a 90 year old man’s smoker raspy voice, which feels like 120 decibels hitting you in the face. A member of far-right party Vox, he took up his weed smoking habits after his idol Nick Diaz, who has the same brain damage chabal has despite suffering 10000 more strikes to the head. Every game he sees himself as the leader of the reconquista and hopes to guide his team into a victory, but all of this results in a military disaster. He has been observed giving up games like they were spanish colonial holdings in South America. Should you manage to acquire this Cani (spanish version of a chav) for your team, you might be lucky enough to get to watch his hardstyle celebration dance to the tune of psychedelic techno: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZN4cDaPr8o 18- Trench] / Jimmy Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 90 Overall: 82 The story of the man who fell down harder than lucifer from the sky. One of those entities that just seem to come back for more after plenty of offscreen deaths, albeit everytime he reincarnates, he loses pieces of himself. Most lately, it’s been any identifiable speck of skill. He plays less frequently nowadays, since he reports pre-fight shaking, dry mouth, voice quivering, tunnel vision, sweaty palms and bowel loosening before a match. It’s also reported that he prefers staring at the abyss instead of joining his friend’s games. His current lack of impact in games leads one to question whether his soul has withered away, or if it was ever there in the first place, with jim becoming a scarecrow of a man. Fortunately, he’s not a serial ragequitter, only choosing to do so in almost invariably the most crucial of games. These antics have led him to be the former N.1 player of WW1 ISH and losing all his prestige in his community, not even being counted among the top 5 anymore. Ragequitting as Great Britain was pinpointed as the moment he jumped the shark, all of his stock plummeted and lost the will to live. Once he couldn’t perform anymore in his favourite game, his subsequent internal pressure to cope with this made him explode like the cork of a shaken champagne bottle. Certainly, this man didn’t count his blessings and now he’s paying for it by being somewhat of a white walker in the community, a myth about someone that was supposed to be a top player at some point many years ago. Truth be told, he was always a punching bag in diplo, a sitcom character if you will, the wacky zany character who kept stumbling in to tell tales of his binges and have to be dragged through the floor at the end of the episode. Whenever there weren’t any guardian angels around to save him in a night’s drinking, he could be found on the next morning crawling and carpet surfing for the last milligram of cocaine. All of these have taken a toll on his body and nowadays jim moves with the grace of a corpse that belongs in the crypts of Winterfell and will look forward to making absolutely no effort in any of his games. It’s not only in the battlefield where jim shows how jaded he is, it is in the social scene where he truly shines, with his favourite hobby involving doxxing diplo’s old guard and lusting after the wives of discord admins. It seems Jim is lately guided by his brainstem, acting like a junkie despite being able to test negative in any drug tests, and everytime he steps into a field he will last less than an Argentinian football manager. 19- RumpleForeskin Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 85 Overall: 82 Insufficient data. 20- pusanmeme Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 65 Awareness: 80 Overall: 80 The undisputed master of the autistic screech, pusan seems to have found a new liking for mini games where you get chased around by a muscular butt naked man yelling ANG. Due to his patriotic rendition of the Emu war, he’s a wannabe commander, whichever team he is in will be subjected to an extravagant amount of orders that will inevitably lead his team to an unfavourable bloodbath, known as the Meat Grinder. His biggest achievements so far are raiding fishing villages and only losing 95% of his army after a battle. This leads to everyone on both team wanting to see him get shot down in slow motion like Willem Dafoe in Platoon. Somehow getting root admin on different discords, he manages to commit numerous atrocities with impunity and an impotent jimmy watching him from his cage, unable to stop him. He will rave on and on about the bravery and skill of australian troops in WW1 and WW2, but once he faces any adversity in a RR game, he will panic spastically like an insect held beneath a glass. Pusan’s personality style can be described as exhausting, due to having more tics than Zizek’s runny nasal passages and how easy it is to get him to ragequit. 21- Blackjacks Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 85 Overall: 80 Bowed. Bent. Broken. The one who suffers the chronic condition of being blackjacks. Named after the popular casino banking card game, which he favours since he doesn’t have to play against other players and risk getting exposed. He is also willing to challenge anyone to a fight in real life at a place of his location, only to back down 5 minutes after claiming “it was just a joke!”. Throughout the ages, he has become a symbol of learning after one’s own mistakes, his biggest landmark of self-criticism for his playstyle being wailing out loud “cell stacks!!”. Lately, he has complained of lagging a lot in games, but anyone with a pair of eyes will quickly notice his performance at both 1000 ms and normal ping is practically the same. Blackjacks will be one of the most motivated to prove himself in the tournament, seeking to earn respect from anyone other than himself. He is also hampered by lag issues and brainlag issues, which must be taken into account. A quick tip for any captain, his dick grows considerably bigger when playing teal. 22- kingrobb Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 80 Overall: 79 The king of the north, who only plays southern nations and who’s entire skillset relies on having an army twice as big as the enemies by spamming mercenaries instantly. Despite re-reading assassin’s guide over 5 times, he can’t seem to improve. He can be considered a social media whore, due to the proclivity to share his unit kills (not hero kills) after the game and start flossing afterwards to celebrate his victory, seeking to get his belly rubbed by whoever’s reading. Upon closer inspection, it can be deduced he’s a virtuoso of failure whenever not playing green, making him a Tyrell babby. 23- bountykillah / Bountykid / Bkid / Kid / k1d / keed / k33d / Kid Dynamite / Sundance kid Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 80 Overall: 78 The man who can take a 1,000 punches and keep on going. The man who will draw his katana sword out if his horrifying performance is criticized. A man who’s last couple of reality checks have rebounded. The amount of pain medication bounty needs to get through a RR match could overdose a buffalo. The supreme over-confidence he has in his skills is a classic example of the emperor has no clothes. However, not because they are afraid of him, but because they don't care enough to tell him. Incapable of any self-reflection, he will accuse others of having meltdowns, but one slight hindrance, one small misfortune, will bring bounty down harder than the Notre Dame Cathedral. But enough negativity about Bounty, let’s highlight some of his positive aspects. His amount of shit talking would leave Mourinho speechless. He’s fearless in battles, willing to lose his entire army because in his own words “i needed food”. He’s still a better rocket league player over the people who haven’t gotten the game yet or have stopped playing it. For any captain wishing to hire his services, just remember, once you go with the hack, there’s no going back. 24- Super_Trunks / Reverted_Trunks Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 70 Overall: 77 Kid Trunks, the legend from maps such as DBZ Tribute and DBZ Rampage. Recently, he has made the transition to different maps, which resulted in an attempt to control more than one hero at the same time, leading to a catastrophic failure. Robert's Rebellion being the most recent example. Whatever doubts remained over his skill level were cleared when he failed to break through synister_’s iron islands for over 40 minutes. Data from Dr. Gero suggests that Trunks’ cognitive limit in his brain can only handle 30 units at the same time, his very own Dunbar’s number, which means he has to suicide units continuously to keep himself being able to function. Well versed in psychological warfare, he will use slams 10 ft away from the opponent, in an attempt to intimidate him away from combat, while shockwaving the complete opposite direction in an attempt to boost himself onward to lunge at his enemies. If you want the real deal though, you must know he gets a +5 bonus on every stat when he forms the Mighty Mask team with 13th. 25- Abdel Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 70 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 75 Overall: 77 Used to be the leader of one of warcraft 3’s greatest communities until something broke in his mind and he fell out of Cniper’s wheel of winning. This led to him choosing to resign and build a wall in the middle of the diplo community. After this, he fell down the slippery slope of Cniper Derangement Syndrome after “shitposting for a few days” and became completely unhinged. Unfortunately, his new persona couldn’t be matched by his ability to take a joke, becoming the most easily triggered person of 2019. His new discord couldn’t match the old one either, becoming the virgin abdelcord vs the chad DiploGaming discord. His discord has half the members of cnipercord, and also has Krotos as an advisor instead of Walrus. It was proclaimed to be a return to old diplo but abdel started banning and demoting people faster than Cniper could finish his high-pitched laughter. This clear failure to triumph in the social networks led Abdel to recur to some questionable tactics and despicable behaviour. Due to Cniper living rent free in his head, he began creating spy accounts to check out DiploGaming’s roaring success. He started donating to Ayuoobi’s Islamic Radicalization Centre. He ceased and desisted playing warcraft 3 with his subdits. He warned to send an army of lawyers towards Cniper and DiploGaming forcing them to change the name, only to get outmaneuvered by Cniper and checkmated in 2 turns with a simple name change. At first glance, it may seem that he was threatening legal action for a fairly trivial amount of money, but in reality Abdel’s aggregate emotional damage after the schism could be estimated into 7 digits, maybe even more. All of this led to abdel’s closest friends rescinding their invitations for him due to how deranged he became. After he realized the pissing contest was over and his feet were stained in pee, he began to turn his attention towards gaming again. He used to love Heroes of the Storm playing the support role with DPS characters, so surely it could be simple. To his own dismay, he couldn’t handle more than one game a night before collapsing on the floor exhausted, he had become Low Energy Abdel. Added to this, he developed a crippling fear of being forgotten in time, seeing as he needs at least 1 GB worth of his posts stored online for all eternity. It seems Abdel is losing on every front in his life lately, perhaps he can redeem himself by winning the tournament. 26- Nubz Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 70 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 Born of the same breed of dayne’s cowardice. It is not by mere wit or clever observations that he calls attention upon himself, but with the simplicity of just being a trainwreck, you simply cannot look away from it. Frankly, i don’t think there’s ever been a bigger natural born asswipe. Whether he’s in a lobby or in-game, a dizzying torrent of shit coming out of his mouth that would get him permanently unable to board a plane in China’s social credit system. Once he decides to troll a game, he will turn on his predator heat vision and let the hunt begin. His plays usually consist of charging into a base at the start of the game only to be surrounded by buff sweaty men and gettin sodomized. He will routinely lose all heroes and ragequit after this, ruining countless games. At the mere suspicion of being held accountable for his actions and confronted, he will quickly flee to a farmer vs hunter. As you can see, this is the behaviour of a man who’s frontal lobe is in deep need of being repaired. Nowadays he larps as a spiritual guru in an attempt to masquerade how washed up he is. 27- IamtheWalrus. / Walrus / Chadrus Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 70 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 The “straight man” of the diplo sitcom, always reacting to the things other people do. Everyone should be proud that he’s a grown man now that makes his own decisions, decisions that he will revert a couple of days after. From the moment he stepped into RR, he was just like Ned Stark as the hand, not knowing how to play the game of thrones and getting ganged within a couple of episodes by a pack of rabid vipers charging at him with the force of a gladiatorial chariot. Once he thinks he has settled into the game, he will get his head chopped before the first season even ends. Known for quitting the game before it has even started due to premature ejaculation, it’s hard to tell if Walrus would last a whole tournament, let alone 5 minutes. He’s one of the most laid back characters in the show, which has resulted in a man so ridiculously down to earth, he’s developed a fear of air travel. His skills can be regarded as slightly below average, a medium talent at best, and usually needs the help of bigger authority figures to thrive. He’s found to be battling with such an outdated style that he may aswell be playing on an arcade machine. Whether Walrus is in the battlefield or attempting to reconnect with abdel, he’ll be sure to disappoint everyone. 28- Cornflake / Hank Ventura Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 Insufficient data. Do not let him near Kingsguard. 29- Dayne / 2dayne4u Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 65 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 85 Overall: 74 Due to his infantil demeanour combined with his harlmess look, he was one of the finalists in the audition to play Chucky in the remake of Child’s play. Arguably the biggest coward and wanker of the community, and it’s not even a contest. Every time he shows up to play, he will disguise the lack of skill in his playstyle as “trolling”. Completely devoid of any other harmful weapons, he does have one horrifying attack in his arsenal, his clown laugh which induces cochleas into having permanent nerve damage and closing themselves off. He’s also known as one of the mapmakers of the infamous virgin ASOAIF in contrast to the chad RR. He then proceeded to whore it out to panther, both the map and his own body. Dayne’s desire to troll is so strong, if he saw someone having a seizure, he would put his own dick in their mouth for them to bite on. For this, he can also be described as the male version of daddy issues, gaining attention for all the wrong reasons. 30- Bors-baledwyr Battle Prowess: 70 Hero Targeting: 65 Plays: 70 Teamwork: 70 Mentality: 90 Awareness: 75 Overall: 73 Bors, the originator of the diplo brand, unable to monetize it after 12 years. Also known to be the unofficial leader of the cabal. He’s been in charge of having to keep up a presentable image after caught harassing 90% of diplo members while drunk every single night. These late night antics solidified his position as diplo’s preeminent boomer. Lately, he’s also started grabbing diplo members by the pussy, which led to some recording him to have the evidence ready to be sent to the FBI for his capture. After seeing Cniper turn the old broken diplo bar into a highly successful family friendly multi-store strip centre, he abdicated as CEO and retreated into Abdel’s mosque, never to be seen again after the failed lawyer ambush attack. Or so everyone thought. Lately, he’s been seen trying to wear no-longer-fitting old armour again for jousting in RR. It’s been a big jump for bors. He went from meeting up with lawyers for diplo’s retaliation and getting laughed at to meeting up with his friends in RR and getting laughed at. But nothing could foresee the shock on the crowd’s faces when the king himself started fighting. Most of what’s been said in this draft are just jokes, but the first time i saw bors play my PC just let out a good 5 second fart noise. His playing was so horripilating and disgraceful, watching him for the first time brought feelings similar to the one Michael McDowell felt while being tortured in A Clockwork Orange. Examining him for a prolonged time leads to an increase in high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, diabetes, stroke, depression and inevitably an early death. His own teammates started to choke and cough, gasping for air, not realizing what was going on. Nobody understood how he managed to learn how to use a keyboard and a mouse. Bors had the hand dexterity of an early sixteenth century prosthetic hand, which made everyone wonder if he was playing with a virtual reality headset instead of a traditional setup. Whatever the explanation, the story was a prime candidate for Unsolved Mysteries. After watching a man who’s had Warcraft 3 since it came out perform like that, everyone felt like they got scammed by an Enron corporate executive. Nobody thought it could get worse until he signed up for the tournament. Prayers were held at night wishing for him to go to jail for a DUI and starving once inside due to neglect by the guard officers. Assassins were hired to give him man-made “obstructive sleep apnea” at night. For everybody knew undergoing the bors experience can be more terrifying than the fury of three dragons. 31- Smeef Battle Prowess: 70 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 30 Mentality: 60 Awareness: 75 Overall: 68 The identity of the most prominent hitman in RR remains a mystery (arguably Sir_Leon or Jaime_Lannister), aswell as his unparalleled talents to dodge 10 security cameras, laser sensors and the threat to games equivalent of having a 5 minute conversation with Nubz and Dayne. But now the rains weep o'er his hall, with no one there to hear.
  9. The roster composed of people i know little and people i wish i knew less (Dayne) has finally arrived. This roster will NOT be useful for the tournament that is destined to fail since there’s not a cohesive community around the game. This will be kept short, as it’s likely Spencer will tear a quad while reading this. Battle Prowess: Means how efficient you are utilizing your armies, in terms of how many units can you kill without having many deaths in your own army. It's basically microing. Hero Targeting: How efficient you are at using your heroes and killing enemy (or allied) heroes, it also takes into account how effective you are with each colour, so spare us the “i got 20 hero kills as LB/Red!!”. Plays: A big x-factor for player talent, how creative and impactful are the plays you make. Teamwork: How well you work with your team, including setting up team fights, doing objectives together and TEAM HEALING. Mentality: The mental strength of the player, how much he can handle adversity, stay focused and not bring everyone else down with him. Very important in competitive matches and for team cohesion in long-term. Awareness: How aware the player is of everyone else’s movements, including the enemies and themselves if there are multiple battles where he’s involved. For the next songs, just add "repeat" after youtube in the link and songs will automatically repeat. 1- Aragorn-Elessar / Ele Battle Prowess: 100 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 90 Awareness: 100 Overall: 94 A legend in BFME, but not so much in RR. Infact, not at all. Also has legendary disdain for honourable members of the community such as Nubz. Despite this, he has become very proficient at managing the LOTR community in wc3, as it is rumoured he has a harem of 70 euro sluts ready to please him whenever he claps, with Assa being his top hoe. Arguably one of the best players in the game, he has mastered the art of building farms in the middle of nowhere and having rough hate fuck sex with Koreans which go by the name “private matches”. He is also known to supply his teammates with WW2 radios in their tanks so he can coordinate the blitzkrieg of any base and then proceed to goosestep all over their capital. His favorite tactic consists in staying in the game until the very last unit on his team dies, forcing the enemy to bore to death by searching, thereby "winning" the game by attrition. 2- Immortal_GoD / Pal Battle Prowess: 100 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 95 Overall: 92 The pal. Also known as the “Jannetty”. Used to be one of the biggest and strongest athletes in Pakistan, until recently when he was outed as a flat track bully who wants overpowered heroes waving armies down and no collision between units so as to avoid learning proper footwork. After failing to get ring wars over as a prominent map due to having the terraining skills of a Humvee driving through play doh, he arrived on the fields of Westeros. Initially, he struggled to adapt to RR’s QWER system due to being used to the c-v-b-k-l-ñ hotkeys of RW, however, he still obtained victories due to his manager Glorf running interference in his matches and cheating to help him win. In time, he became one of greatest warriors in Robert's Rebellion and usually had to avoid using revealing clothing for fear of Assassin being fascinated with him. He was at his best and reached the top 1% of players, pleasuring himself by german suplexing other players 20 times in a game and big leaguing everyone in sight. For some time, he was truly the undisputed champion of RR. But just like Mike Tyson at his peak got together with Don King and went downhill, so did the pal meddle with the wrong kind of people, in the form of Dayne. He became his partner in crime, the most hated heel tag team in the business and both proceeded to reach unrecorded levels of pettiness, by bullying Onlooker and synister_ and sharing pictures of their exploits on their instagram joint account. After meeting dayne, his gimmick changed. He began wearing clown makeup to his matches, gained saggy mantits, his cholesterol levels rose and became bloated, even breaking the undisputed belt strap with his gut. Nowadays, he’s only in RR for the money, he plays as a part-timer once every 3 months and as soon as his match ends, he will leave in his helicopter, not interacting with any fans or team members. It is only by destroying the negative influence of dayne, that the old pal can come back to being the undisputed champion. 3- Redlance246 / Pandaman Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 95 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 95 Overall: 92 A succesful result of cross-species interbreeding after the last one failed (ie. EagleMan), Pandaman enjoys creative use of bamboo sticks in 24 player sexual orgies, while also enjoying Robert’s Rebellion. He’s one of the few knights left with honour in RR, as long as he participates in the captain role, otherwise he risks losing all of it. This cute animal also evolved to protect any lesser creature that seeks him out, such as the.dude, from more skilled opponents. He will also pee on the.dude’s head frequently to ward off any potentially dangerous predators when he’s not around. Recently, he was made an honourable knight of GoTE for his efforts against HOTJ. 4- Reaver Battle Prowess: 95 Hero Targeting: 100 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 85 Overall: 90 Now here we have someone who is the very definition of “bad pussy”. It’s been a long torturous ride for Reaver. From being in the banjo relegation league, to rising into the RobReb all-star team. Unfortunately, his newfound skill set doesn’t match his social skillset, preferring to garb out one word insults while gobbling on food “mghrhr noob, mhrmghr faggot”. Reaver is one of the greatest warriors on the field, however it is rumoured he has one fatal weakness, with his dick becoming flaccid when you take away his overpowered archer volley or his Vale elite knights. Once castrated from his preferred weapons, Reaver becomes like any other RR player, making him very reliant on playing orange or blue. 5- Assassin88 Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 95 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 100 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 85 Overall: 88 One of the driving forces behind RR, when he realized his BFME career was over. He read all 50 pages of Sun Tzu’s art of war in one year, misinterpreting it into thinking he needs at least an 80% chance of winning to be willing to play. This also extends to needing the biggest steak in a BBQ, the sturdiest legos in the house and the most fetid shit in the toilet. The constant search for having the game balance suited to his needs may be a properly developed Munchausen syndrome, which means Assassin will need every psychological defense mechanism to be able to withstand an auction draft with players he may not know. This excessive preoccupation about not having the advantage leads him to forget his own skills, so whichever captain acquires him must nurse him every now and then to remind him he’s a good player and doesn’t need all of the gold in the world. But not all is negative in this attitude, it reminds us of a fundamental philosophical question of our time, the difference between needing and wanting. The latest of his accomplishments is writing a 1.100 page manuscript on how to play RR, just short of lacking the epilogue on how to imbalance and stack teams, a great short read for newcomers. Recently, Assassin has agreed to captain, since he freaked out when he noticed not everything would be under his control unless he picked his own players. His organization skills are illustrious, such as when he hosted the Clan HOTJ festival in 2015, where half the attending men were required to wear wigs and yoga pants. 6- EagleMan Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 95 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 100 Awareness: 85 Overall: 87 The gift that keeps on giving things that nobody asked for in the first place. EagleMan is currently the only running candidate for worst GoTE chieftain of all time for single handedly running it to the ground and tanking the active player base. He’s one of those kings that don’t inspire any loyal following , only appearing during feasts with a phantom of the opera mask on, insulting the nobles with word play and double entendre for 15 minutes and then immediately leaving to his chambers afterwards. During the entirety of his reign, he never once described his tax policies or gave orders to his small council. Various court nobles have described him as asexual and mysterious, carefully hiding his intentions until it’s too late for his political rivals to notice, perhaps this is why Eagle has accumulated more heads on spikes than actual loyal recruits for his clan. They also have noted many of his more bizarre behaviours, such as asking people if they had a shower multiple times during the day, spend the time in his chambers randomly calling people and hanging up before they answer, take an entire 2 hours to drink a cup of wine he drinks with a small golden spoon, and last but not least, getting his nails done only to look at them like they’re about to explode. It may seem that he has the total personality of half a Keanu Reeves, with his immaculate appearance of soft white hands and wearing soft angry birds slippers, but one look at his history reveals the multiple undeserved bannings, power abuses, backstabbings, coup d’ tats and mentally torturing of people. His ruthlessness is also well documented, as once he’s angered, his chest will turn red like a machine from I robot and will have no problem chopping any heads off. Possessing the ability to remain emotionally detached and unmoved after watching the deaths of his allied armies after refusing to send help, his house maids will note there’s always white stains on the sheets the very next morning after this happens. Nobody knows why this happens. Having never bled before for the clan he usurped, he became interested in RR in an attempt to save his reputation in front of his clan. Once inside a battle, he becomes laser focused to the point that drool starts falling onto his keyboard while he obsessively tries to snipe an enemy spawn. All of this while pretending to listen to team’s plans, only to selfishly abandon his team which goes into big battles with one EagleMan less. He also has no qualms about creating an army of EagleBots and overloading discord channels. All of the qualities previously mentioned and his frequent charges into the enemy generals make him one of the most dangerous players in the roster of Robert’s Rebellion. 7- Numudan Battle Prowess: 100 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 90 Overall: 87 The night king himself of the Japanese Hikikomori. He’s barely known in the RR community, but everyone from ISH fears him, as he has a higher apm than all of the roster combined. Numudan has barely played in RR, but once he learns each colour, he will be a forced to be reckoned with due to the korean fingers he possesses. 8- BolvarFordragon / Bolvar Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 90 Overall: 86 One half of the root admins of the OG discord, he adds the “old” in Old Guard. Traumatized by having half of his face burnt by inraky in the past and having to get a 3 year long medical license, Bolvar carries this lifelong wound with him, leaving him with eyes filled with sadness and trembling in terror at the sight of any form of competition. Armed with a flawless ability to procrastinate and his “never give up, just don’t participate” attitude, Bolvar will seek to change the course of his history and redeem his embarrassing first tournament performance. 9- Kaptajn_Snaps Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 95 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 80 Overall: 86 GRR Martin himself, who takes 3 years to bring out an update and is the promised prince to lead the community to the promised land in the form of the ASOAIF/RR hybrid, however this has the same chances of being released as GRR Martin releasing his final 2 books. Due to the devotion he has for his friends, he adds -emote’s for them, so as to signal when they are sexually aroused and want to begin the mating ritual. Being the mapmaker, he knows every dirty trick in the book, his weapon of choice is the paper mache ironfleet, which he uses to rain down landings upon landings over lannisters, usually ending with the Pyke getting burnt down 5 minutes after. 10- drovermodz Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 95 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 85 Overall: 85 If you have been in one drovermodz game, you have seen all of them. You must have heard the weeping in the north and the constant whining about the pathing or why isn’t everyone playing Battle for Middle Earth. This means that drover likes his comfort zone, and anything not remotely resembling his comfort zone will throw him into a fit and possibly end up in a rage quit to go host his own lobby. Whenever drover can manage to keep his emotions in check, he has the potential to be a strong player. 11- Moniack Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 A hardly known player with a natural born talent to capitalize on opportunities and excellent performances on the battlefield. Destined to be the black beast of the tournament. 12- Wolff Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 A warrior of unparalleled integrity, known for delivering on his promises, such as his promise to leave RR and quitting it for a total amount of 3 nights and 2 days with the luxury suite included. He’s back from his vacations and now wants to take no prisoners, only needing 2 hour blocks to conquer the kingdom. 13-The_13th_Legend / 3rd / 11th / 27th Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 The eunuch of the community. There is a sharp contrast between the fluidity of his accent with the disaster that are his game movements. His strategy consists of staying away from big battles, using his one control group for archers in an attempt to damage the enemy, which has the impact of being thrown a pack of gummy bears. Once he has lost his precious archers, he will proceed to flip-flop throughout the battlefield in a spastic manner and lose all of his heroes. 13th has such a disorienting personality that it will make you think you walked into an episode of the Twilight Zone with no real personality. The only real discernible personality trait in him is his neediness for Panther, his insatiable hunger for sucking on his nipples along with the distinct brown nose he wears whenever he leaves panther’s room. Panther has also taught him the proper moves in the devil’s tango. But his heart is in store for another person, in the form of Super_Trunks, who he fights alongside like a sacred theban band and also sleeps and baths with, like a sacred theban band. Together, they possess the power of love, capable of beating anyone in the battlefield each other off. 14- the.dude / Hannicuck / Cuckibal / Hannibal Barcuck / the.cuck / his cuckness / el cuckerino / Brian Cringe Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 85 Overall: 84 The second most successful mapmaker of wc3, having created the immensely popular Warcraft: Total War with 1 million sales within the first week and over 100 GB of content. A map nigh unparallelled, only surpassed by Sukramo’s Third War. Managed to acquire a lady-friend (wife) when they both realized she was into the whole brevity thing. Also acquired another friend, as when his wife’s boyfriend walked into the house, sat on his couch and started playing with his Nintendo Switch, Brian abided. This means he also has to take care of his wife’s son by buying him Godzilla toys, which may hurt brian’s chances of playing a game uninterrupted. As for the skills, this is a complex player to analyze, you know a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. What remains in the end is that any kind of aggression he takes towards an opponent will not stand, and he will have to go brown-nose daddy lance to bail him out. In absence of lance, he will seek security in his wife’s boyfriend or go bowling, dodging RR. If you acquire him as a player, he will really tie the team together, but don’t expect him to be bowling ten pins without the help of his dad Lance. 15- kpiche Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 90 Awareness: 80 Overall: 84 I’m not even sure what this is. 16- Radagast. Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 75 Overall: 83 The name radagast was picked when he tried to convince 4 other friends to name themselves after the Istari wizards, unfortunately nobody else followed him. Carefully chosen to be the scapegoat of the HOTJ community in the case of any loss, it is said that Elessar harnessed nuclear and solar energy in an attempt to power up his rhosgobbel rabbits and give him more mobility in games. Being the Trench] of their own community, it is expected that he is the go-to punching bag for any jokes made at someone’s expense. For mysterious reasons, he seems to acquire bonus damage against koreans. Radagast will attempt to become a prominent player by volunteering to captain, despite only knowing 15% of the players. It is also expected his strategy will consist of acquiring euro’s only, due to their penchant for endogamy in tournaments. 17- Spankfurt / Spencer Battle Prowess: 90 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 83 "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Spankfurt has joined voice chat." The man willing to donate his ass when someone has to be taught the ways of his people from Nova Scotia. This ancient tradition of his to be given the reacharound constantly has resulted in our dear Spencer becoming temporarily a cripple and needing a wheelchair to move. Fortunately, he can still lower the height of his chair to punish someone with the ol’ Hoover maneuver and get his mouthwash. A quick tip for the captain of any team with this man, he’s got a big mouth, it’s better to put it to use on pleasuring somebody instead of letting him bark out tactics in the form of potential blunders. Preferring to get red faced and clenching his teeth while attempting to bring everyone down like a sinking cruiser instead of copying with reality, once Spencer loses focus in the game, he will use Displacement into the nearest possible target and begin shitting watery diarrhea all over his own team. His in-game roaring got so loud that Metro Goldwyn Mayer hired him to get down on all 4 limbs and start filming him for their next feature presentation intro. If you find yourself in voice chat with him, one spoken word can lead you to bite yourself to extract the venom and hope you age quickly to speed up the process of hearing loss. His voice chat behaviour in HoTS led to him being referred to as “That Thing”. The origins of this monster creature go back to his premature birth, after he scared away his mother’s umbilical cord by shouting “This amniotic fluid was not SEASONED, YOU FUCKING DONKEY”. Following this, he had a childhood marked by acting out whenever he didn’t receive his pacifier and introducing the concept of fingering to other kids. Once he was grown, he started disguising himself as an eloquent host, he will try to keep up an image for the community and loudly tell anecdotes, to distract everyone away from the inordinate amount of skeletons in his closet. Only a few know the hidden truth, that choosing to become a friend of Spankfurt is a bigger horror story than a night stay at Clegane keep. Fleeting doubts about his britishness were dissipated when he got back his DNA results confessed attraction for Maisie Williams. Nowadays he has acquired his wc3 loicense and become the Master of Coin of the community, which means he spends his time getting the kingdom in debt to organize the RR tournament and seething at eagleman’s full set of hair. 18- Grimgorr Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 85 Overall: 83 Very little is known about Grimgorr. Recognized as Assassin's and Ele's executioner, it is rumoured he got his tongue cut when he didn't hit the G spot after 15 minutes of failed attempts and started licking their arseholes instead. The undisputed captain of the incels in Caterparty, he copies Elliot Rodger's style in RR, speeding up to someone's base, only to get surrounded and off himself in his car. 19- elchabalin / El Becario / Señorin / Señorito Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 85 Overall: 82 Hailing from Cataluña, chabal manages to be America’s Most Blunted despite living in another continent. True to his spanish ancestry, he also carries a 90 year old man’s smoker raspy voice, which feels like 120 decibels hitting you in the face. A member of far-right party Vox, he took up his weed smoking habits after his idol Nick Diaz, who has the same brain damage chabal has despite suffering 10000 more strikes to the head. Every game he sees himself as the leader of the reconquista and hopes to guide his team into a victory, but all of this results in a military disaster. He has been observed giving up games like they were spanish colonial holdings in South America. Should you manage to acquire this Cani (spanish version of a chav) for your team, you might be lucky enough to get to watch his hardstyle celebration dance to the tune of psychedelic techno: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZN4cDaPr8o 20- Trench] / Jimmy Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 90 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 90 Overall: 82 The story of the man who fell down harder than Lucifer from the sky. One of those entities that just seem to come back for more after plenty of offscreen deaths, albeit everytime he reincarnates, he loses pieces of himself. Most lately, it’s been any identifiable speck of skill. He plays less frequently nowadays, since he reports pre-fight shaking, dry mouth, voice quivering, tunnel vision, sweaty palms and bowel loosening before a match. It’s also reported that he prefers staring at the abyss instead of joining his friend’s games. His current lack of impact in games leads one to question whether his soul has withered away, or if it was ever there in the first place, with jim becoming a scarecrow of a man. Fortunately, he’s not a serial ragequitter, only choosing to do so in almost invariably the most crucial of games. These antics have led him to be the former N.1 player of WW1 ISH and losing all his prestige in his community, not even being counted among the top 5 anymore. Ragequitting as Great Britain was pinpointed as the moment he jumped the shark, all of his stock plummeted and lost the will to live. Once he couldn’t perform anymore in his favourite game, his subsequent internal pressure to cope with this made him explode like the cork of a shaken champagne bottle. Certainly, this man didn’t count his blessings and now he’s paying for it by being somewhat of a white walker in the community, a myth about someone that was supposed to be a top player at some point many years ago. Truth be told, he was always a punching bag in diplo, a sitcom character if you will, the wacky zany character who kept stumbling in to tell tales of his binges and have to be dragged through the floor at the end of the episode. Whenever there weren’t any guardian angels around to save him in a night’s drinking, he could be found on the next morning crawling and carpet surfing for the last milligram of cocaine. All of these have taken a toll on his body and nowadays jim moves with the grace of a corpse that belongs in the crypts of Winterfell and will look forward to making absolutely no effort in any of his games. It’s not only in the battlefield where jim shows how jaded he is, it is in the social scene where he truly shines, with his favourite hobby involving doxxing diplo’s old guard and lusting after the wives of discord admins. It seems Jim is lately guided by his brainstem, acting like a junkie despite being able to test negative in any drug tests, and everytime he steps into a field he will last less than an Argentinian football manager. 21- Blackjacks Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 90 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 85 Overall: 82 Bowed. Bent. Broken. The one who suffers the chronic condition of being blackjacks. Named after the popular casino banking card game, which he favours since he doesn’t have to play against other players and risk getting exposed. He is also willing to challenge anyone to a fight in real life at a place of his location, only to back down 5 minutes after claiming “it was just a joke!”. Throughout the ages, he has become a symbol of learning after one’s own mistakes, his biggest landmark of self-criticism for his playstyle being wailing out loud “cell stacks!!”. Lately, he has complained of lagging a lot in games, but anyone with a pair of eyes will quickly notice his performance at both 1000 ms and normal ping is practically the same. Blackjacks will be one of the most motivated to prove himself in the tournament, seeking to earn respect from anyone other than himself. He is also hampered by lag issues and brainlag issues, which must be taken into account. A quick tip for any captain, his dick grows considerably bigger when playing teal. 22- RumpleForeskin Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 85 Overall: 81 Insufficient data. 23- aPerson Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 80 Ape, one of the founding fathers of the resurgence of Robert's Rebellion in wc3, who learnt how to play by watching WW2 tapes of the Battle of France. One of the saltiest men alive, he should be banned by the World Health Organization purely based on his sodium content. He started out well when everyone was still learning the game, until they started catching up to him within half a game. After that, he started accusing new players of having played before, only to receive in response "this is the first time i've ever played xD" everytime. And so came forth a long string of 10 minute defeats where he would ragequit after having his heroes dented by air currents, only to then enthusiastically remake the next night with similar results. After many weeks of resounding defeats, he decided to quit ragequitting and stopped playing altogether, due to his therapist recommending it. Following this, he went missing for years, with a search party heralded by Agents Scully and Mulder unable to find him. Nowadays he makes sporadic appearances in the discord, asking for games only for his PTSD to kick in whenever a game is actually hosted. He hes planned his comeback at the tournament for many years, but the competitive nature of the tournament might be too much weight on his shoulders. 24- pusanmeme Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 65 Awareness: 80 Overall: 80 The undisputed master of the autistic screech, pusan seems to have found a new liking for mini games where you get chased around by a muscular butt naked man yelling ANG. Due to his patriotic rendition of the Emu war, he’s a wannabe commander, whichever team he is in will be subjected to an extravagant amount of orders that will inevitably lead his team to an unfavourable bloodbath, known as the Meat Grinder. His biggest achievements so far are raiding fishing villages and only losing 95% of his army after a battle. This leads to everyone on both team wanting to see him get shot down in slow motion like Willem Dafoe in Platoon. Somehow getting root admin on different discords, he manages to commit numerous atrocities with impunity and an impotent jimmy watching him from his cage, unable to stop him. He will rave on and on about the bravery and skill of australian troops in WW1 and WW2, but once he faces any adversity in a RR game, he will panic spastically like an insect held beneath a glass. Pusan’s personality style can be described as exhausting, due to having more tics than Zizek’s runny nasal passages and how easy it is to get him to ragequit. 25- kingrobb Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 80 Overall: 79 The king of the north, who only plays southern nations and who’s entire skillset relies on having an army twice as big as the enemies by spamming mercenaries instantly. Despite re-reading assassin’s guide over 5 times, he can’t seem to improve. He can be considered a social media whore, due to the proclivity to share his unit kills (not hero kills) after the game and start flossing afterwards to celebrate his victory, seeking to get his belly rubbed by whoever’s reading. Upon closer inspection, it can be deduced he’s a virtuoso of failure whenever not playing green, making him a Tyrell babby. 26- bountykillah / Bountykid / Bkid / Kid / k1d / keed / k33d / Kid Dynamite / Sundance kid / Rickid Karstark / Rickard Kidstark Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 80 Overall: 78 The man who can take a 1,000 punches and keep on going. The man who will draw his katana sword out if his horrifying performance is criticized. A man who’s last couple of reality checks have rebounded. The amount of pain medication bounty needs to get through a RR match could overdose a buffalo. The supreme over-confidence he has in his skills is a classic example of the emperor has no clothes. However, not because they are afraid of him, but because they don't care enough to tell him. Incapable of any self-reflection, he will accuse others of having meltdowns, but one slight hindrance, one small misfortune, will bring bounty down harder than the Notre Dame Cathedral. But enough negativity about Bounty, let’s highlight some of his positive aspects. His amount of shit talking would leave Mourinho speechless. He’s fearless in battles, willing to lose his entire army because in his own words “i needed food”. The casualties numbers in any of his armies puts Tojo's japan to shame. He’s still a better rocket league player over the people who haven’t gotten the game yet or have stopped playing it. For any captain wishing to hire his services, just remember, once you go with the hack, there’s no going back. 27- Super_Trunks / Reverted_Trunks / Superbad Trunks Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 80 Awareness: 70 Overall: 77 Kid Trunks, the legend from maps such as DBZ Tribute and DBZ Rampage. Recently, he has made the transition to different maps, which resulted in an attempt to control more than one hero at the same time, leading to a catastrophic failure. Robert's Rebellion being the most recent example. Whatever doubts remained over his skill level were cleared when he failed to break through synister_’s iron islands for over 40 minutes. Data from Dr. Gero suggests that Trunks’ cognitive limit in his brain can only handle 30 units at the same time, his very own Dunbar’s number, which means he has to suicide units continuously to keep himself being able to function. Well versed in psychological warfare, he will use slams 10 ft away from the opponent, in an attempt to intimidate him away from combat, while shockwaving the complete opposite direction in an attempt to boost himself onward to lunge at his enemies. If you want the real deal though, you must know he gets a +5 bonus on every stat when he forms the Mighty Mask team with 13th. 28- Abdel Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 70 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 85 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 75 Overall: 77 Used to be the leader of one of warcraft 3’s greatest communities until something broke in his mind and he fell out of Cniper’s wheel of winning. This led to him choosing to resign and build a wall in the middle of the diplo community. After this, he fell down the slippery slope of Cniper Derangement Syndrome after “shitposting for a few days” and became completely unhinged. Unfortunately, his new persona couldn’t be matched by his ability to take a joke, becoming the most easily triggered person of 2019. His new discord couldn’t match the old one either, becoming the virgin abdelcord vs the chad DiploGaming discord. His discord has half the members of cnipercord, and also has Krotos as an advisor instead of Walrus. It was proclaimed to be a return to old diplo but abdel started banning and demoting people faster than Cniper could finish his high-pitched laughter. This clear failure to triumph in the social networks led Abdel to recur to some questionable tactics and despicable behaviour. Due to Cniper living rent free in his head, he began creating spy accounts to check out DiploGaming’s roaring success. He started donating to Ayuoobi’s Islamic Radicalization Centre. He ceased and desisted playing warcraft 3 with his subdits. He warned to send an army of lawyers towards Cniper and DiploGaming forcing them to change the name, only to get outmaneuvered by Cniper and checkmated in 2 turns with a simple name change. At first glance, it may seem that he was threatening legal action for a fairly trivial amount of money, but in reality Abdel’s aggregate emotional damage after the schism could be estimated into 7 digits, maybe even more. All of this led to abdel’s closest friends rescinding their invitations for him due to how deranged he became. After he realized the pissing contest was over and his feet were stained in pee, he began to turn his attention towards gaming again. He used to love Heroes of the Storm playing the support role with DPS characters, so surely it could be simple. To his own dismay, he couldn’t handle more than one game a night before collapsing on the floor exhausted, he had become Low Energy Abdel. Added to this, he developed a crippling fear of being forgotten in time, seeing as he needs at least 1 GB worth of his posts stored online for all eternity. It seems Abdel is losing on every front in his life lately, perhaps he can redeem himself by winning the tournament. 29- Finrod / Mr_Finrod / Shitrod Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 70 Mentality: 75 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 The late finrod, who somehow became the capo of a LOTR clan inspite of himself. He lead a talented clan full of players like Orangestryfe and Evolution, and other not so talented like Glorf. Despite his likeable personality, he can suddenly turn into "shitrod" at any moment without prior warning, his nihilistic and lackadaisical alter-ego. In this state of mind, he acquires tics that could even get Jesus to hate him. He starts afking randomly every 2 minutes, even in the heat of combat. He sends his entire army and heroes after whoever looked at him the wrong way. His brain farts will begin clogging up the breathing room, drastically bringing down the air quality and testing the human ability to distinguish more than a trillion smells to it's limit. He becomes the embodiment of the term "Achilles' Brain". All of the above makes you hope he will be the first SpaceX tourist with no return ticket. The next Nigerian Prince-type email you get, you will give away all of Finrod's personal information. 30- Nubz Battle Prowess: 85 Hero Targeting: 85 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 70 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 Born of the same breed of dayne’s cowardice. It is not by mere wit or clever observations that he calls attention upon himself, but with the simplicity of just being a trainwreck, you simply cannot look away from it. Frankly, i don’t think there’s ever been a bigger natural born asswipe. Whether he’s in a lobby or in-game, a dizzying torrent of shit coming out of his mouth that would get him permanently unable to board a plane in China’s social credit system. Once he decides to troll a game, he will turn on his predator heat vision and let the hunt begin. His plays usually consist of charging into a base at the start of the game only to be surrounded by buff sweaty men and gettin sodomized. He will routinely lose all heroes and ragequit after this, ruining countless games. At the mere suspicion of being held accountable for his actions and confronted, he will quickly flee to a farmer vs hunter. As you can see, this is the behaviour of a man who’s frontal lobe is in deep need of being repaired. Nowadays he larps as a spiritual guru in an attempt to masquerade how washed up he is. 31- IamtheWalrus. / Walrus / Chadrus Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 70 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 80 Mentality: 85 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 The “straight man” of the diplo sitcom, always reacting to the things other people do. Everyone should be proud that he’s a grown man now that makes his own decisions, decisions that he will revert a couple of days after. From the moment he stepped into RR, he was just like Ned Stark as the hand, not knowing how to play the game of thrones and getting ganged within a couple of episodes by a pack of rabid vipers charging at him with the force of a gladiatorial chariot. Once he thinks he has settled into the game, he will get his head chopped before the first season even ends. Known for quitting the game before it has even started due to premature ejaculation, it’s hard to tell if Walrus would last a whole tournament, let alone 5 minutes. He’s one of the most laid back characters in the show, which has resulted in a man so ridiculously down to earth, he’s developed a fear of air travel. His skills can be regarded as slightly below average, a medium talent at best, and usually needs the help of bigger authority figures to thrive. He’s found to be battling with such an outdated style that he may aswell be playing on an arcade machine. Whether Walrus is in the battlefield or attempting to reconnect with abdel, he’ll be sure to disappoint everyone. 32- Cornflake / Hank Ventura Battle Prowess: 80 Hero Targeting: 75 Plays: 80 Teamwork: 75 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 75 Overall: 76 Insufficient data. Do not let him near Kingsguard. 33- Dayne / 2dayne4u Battle Prowess: 75 Hero Targeting: 80 Plays: 75 Teamwork: 65 Mentality: 70 Awareness: 80 Overall: 74 Due to his infantil demeanour combined with his harlmess look, he was one of the finalists in the audition to play Chucky in the remake of Child’s play. Arguably the biggest coward and wanker of the community, and it’s not even a contest. He's known as the only korean-looking person with absolutely no skill for videogames. Every time he shows up to play, he will disguise this lack of skill in his playstyle as “trolling”. Completely devoid of any other harmful weapons, he does have one horrifying attack in his arsenal, his clown laugh which induces cochleas into having permanent nerve damage and closing themselves off. He’s also known as one of the mapmakers of the infamous virgin ASOAIF in contrast to the chad RR. He then proceeded to whore it out to panther, both the map and his own body. Dayne’s desire to troll is so strong, if he saw someone having a seizure, he would put his own dick in their mouth for them to bite on. For this, he can also be described as the male version of daddy issues, gaining attention for all the wrong reasons. 34- Bors-baledwyr Battle Prowess: 70 Hero Targeting: 65 Plays: 70 Teamwork: 70 Mentality: 90 Awareness: 75 Overall: 73 Bors, the originator of the diplo brand, unable to monetize it after 12 years. Also known to be the unofficial leader of the cabal. He’s been in charge of having to keep up a presentable image after caught harassing 90% of diplo members while drunk every single night. These late night antics solidified his position as diplo’s preeminent boomer. Lately, he’s also started grabbing diplo members by the pussy, which led to some recording him to have the evidence ready to be sent to the FBI for his capture. After seeing Cniper turn the old broken diplo bar into a highly successful family friendly multi-store strip centre, he abdicated as CEO and retreated into Abdel’s mosque, never to be seen again after the failed lawyer ambush attack. Or so everyone thought. Lately, he’s been seen trying to wear no-longer-fitting old armour again for jousting in RR. It’s been a big jump for bors. He went from meeting up with lawyers for diplo’s retaliation and getting laughed at to meeting up with his friends in RR and getting laughed at. But nothing could foresee the shock on the crowd’s faces when the king himself started fighting. Most of what’s been said in this draft are just jokes, but the first time i saw bors play my PC just let out a good 5 second fart noise. His playing was so horripilating and disgraceful, watching him for the first time brought feelings similar to the one Michael McDowell felt while being tortured in A Clockwork Orange. Examining him for a prolonged time leads to an increase in high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, diabetes, stroke, depression and inevitably an early death. His own teammates started to choke and cough, gasping for air, not realizing what was going on. Nobody understood how he managed to learn how to use a keyboard and a mouse. Bors had the hand dexterity of an early sixteenth century prosthetic hand, which made everyone wonder if he was playing with a virtual reality headset instead of a traditional setup. Whatever the explanation, the story was a prime candidate for Unsolved Mysteries. After watching a man who’s had Warcraft 3 since it came out perform like that, everyone felt like they got scammed by an Enron corporate executive. Nobody thought it could get worse until he signed up for the tournament. Prayers were held at night wishing for him to go to jail for a DUI and starving once inside due to neglect by the guard officers. Assassins were hired to give him man-made “obstructive sleep apnea” at night. For everybody knew undergoing the bors experience can be more terrifying than the fury of three dragons. 35- Smeef Battle Prowess: 70 Hero Targeting: 90 Plays: 85 Teamwork: 30 Mentality: 60 Awareness: 75 Overall: 68 The identity of the most prominent hitman in RR remains a mystery (arguably Sir_Leon or Jaime_Lannister), aswell as his unparalleled talents to dodge 10 security cameras, laser sensors and the threat to games equivalent of having a 5 minute conversation with Nubz and Dayne. His comedy routine consists of teamkilling enemy heroes and their capital, only to then escape like the roadrunner, saying "smeef smeef" as he leaves a dust cloud behind him. But now the rains weep o'er his hall, with no one there to hear.
  10. Been spending alot of time with Jim
  11. What are both of you's talking about? Clearly i'm the blonde one with glasses.
  12. I tried to check it out and crashed. EagleMan must promise he will finally turn his back on 1 inch corridors.
  13. I'm fine with that as long as their revival time actually makes it costly to just "send them in and fight", especially in higher levels. But that also has to be combined with how powerful heroes are and how much they can turn the tide of a battle. Do you mean that LOTSW will have tight corridors like AZW? Needs big open fields battles like RR.
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