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Ran a small distillery in the Scottish Highlands until the forces of King George came and set it ablaze, prompting him to draw his rapier and shout ''Long Live Bonny Prince Charlie!'' before plunging headlong into the centre of the redcoat line.

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Once swallowed twenty boners at the same time while being simultaneously impaled with a pitchfork (its prongs were actually sharpened penises).

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