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The "Ask Burden" thread...ask his advice on anything and he'll casually sip his scotch, finger his bow tie, tip his glasses...then give you an answer as he fucks the brains out of his secretary and moves onto your spouse or insignificant other, before concluding while stealing the million dollar account you've been working on securing for months.

 

ASK BURDEN!

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ok so i met this girl while playing runescape and now she wants to hook up with me. she lives 15 kilometers from where i live.

 

what do i do? i've never even seen her before

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Buradain, Kimberley at work, a new girl in the cafe, is my age, intelligent and funny...but also engaged...she has a law degree and is doing an education degree...anyway...down to the real GLEESTUFF...she admitted she likes anal...what do I do? Should I make every possible attempt to break it up?

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burden,

 

 

 

 

you didn't even sell out and yet you're still selling out, what the fuck man

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burden i like this girl but she lives 120km away what do?

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burden what is your opinion on the hackneyed revival of tired and overused conventions, specifically in the form of contrived guru question and answer?

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Burden I saw this video and this woman was wrestling with a stiff snake, and then she started eating it, and it spat venom on her. WHY DID SHE DO THAT?!

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this should get the thread of the year award

 

ok so i met this girl while playing runescape and now she wants to hook up with me. she lives 15 kilometers from where i live.

 

what do i do? i've never even seen her before

 

who the FLYING FUCK still plays runescape!?

you do nothing, you first promptly reconsider your life(you asked for advice about a chick who plays runescape SERIOUSFUCKINGLY?, and second never speak of this moment again.

 

Buradain, Kimberley at work, a new girl in the cafe, is my age, intelligent and funny...but also engaged...she has a law degree and is doing an education degree...anyway...down to the real GLEESTUFF...she admitted she likes anal...what do I do? Should I make every possible attempt to break it up?

 

no you shouldn't bors,

she's obviously a fuckwit if she has a law degree, and is working on another degree in education, all while working in a cafe?

why didn't she practice law for a few years make enough money so she could go to school again and not have to work in a fucking cafe.

 

my guess is there's some deep seated daddy issues you don't want to get involved with.

so no bors, don't break them up.

Two serious reasons:

1. What goes around comes around.

2. If she cheats once she'll cheat again.

 

however prompting her to cheat and then pillaging her treasure trove is an a-okay way forward, fuck her fiance's feelings / sense of being.

 

burden,

 

 

 

 

you didn't even sell out and yet you're still selling out, what the fuck man

 

i should be the next emperor of gotennia

i would even be active to do this duty

 

burden i like this girl but she lives 120km away what do?

spend one night not in a drunken fury

drive to her

bring flowers

get heartbroken

realize my advice is absolute shit

 

BURDEN

she says she likes gagging... what does gag mean??

 

it means she likes penis, and not yours

 

burden what is your opinion on the hackneyed revival of tired and overused conventions, specifically in the form of contrived guru question and answer?

 

 

you seem a little mad bro

inferous is gay

^answer

 

Burden Spencer likes this girl but i've already fucked her

What now

 

1. quit acting like you have a big enough penis to even penetrate a girl

2. no one fucks a chick spencer dane berry likes, other than spencer dane berry

 

Burden I saw this video and this woman was wrestling with a stiff snake, and then she started eating it, and it spat venom on her. WHY DID SHE DO THAT?!

putting "porn" into the youtube search box rarely gets you this kind of quality

i salute you lad

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Burden

Theres this boy Spencer likes

But i've already fucked you

What now

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Burden

Theres this boy Spencer likes

But i've already fucked you

What now

 

Sniper

i don't know

shake it once, shake it twice, shake it three times and you're playing with it ya know

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Dear Burden

 

I find myself more or less attracted to two girls who would be considered to have a little cushion for the pushin'

 

what do

 

 

as long as they are considered "overweight" and not "obese" all is well.

but this is what i would do: put them both in the friend zone, and then proceed to date their more attractive friends, using them as stepping stones.

 

burden i cant get this girl off my mind i don't know what's going onnnn

 

it's called being a teenager hk

penis>mind>heart

 

Burden?

I think therefore I Am.

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Burden im friends with these 3 girls and they've all made it clear that they like me but they all hate each other what should i do should i proceed and date 1 of them or just remain friends?

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Burden im friends with these 3 girls and they've all made it clear that they like me but they all hate each other what should i do should i proceed and date 1 of them or just remain friends?

 

>implying girls even talk to you contin

 

anywho that's a sticky situation.

either pick the one you like the most and say f u to the others

 

or if none of them are "off the wall" dateable, be friends then use them to date one of their friends who you do find "off the charts" dateable

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Burden

What the fuck is this shit

 

blackout requested an ask burden thread

bors delivered

i sold out

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right out bro

 

 

 

 

 

 

burden how do you get out of the friend zone

 

 

 

and I mean you

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As I lulz'd Grunty's formspring, so shall I lulz this thread.

 

-----

 

Burden, let's assume for a moment that you are a peregrine falcon, and I am a raven.

 

We both spot a voluptuous Eagle preening her majestic feathers on the side of a cliff. Overwhelmed by lust, our usual friendship is cast aside - we both dive for the winged succubus, the conception of many eaglets burning in our minds. Our razor-sharp beaks part, and we address eachother with rage - I with a cantankerous caw, and thee with a sordid screech.

 

When next our eyes gaze to the cliff, though! The Eagle has been scooped up by a vicarious vulture! With a rusty chorble escaping his throat, he spreads his mighty wings and takes flight to his desert aerie.

 

My question is... How could we have let this happen to us, old friend? A bout between we two will lose us precious time - the purity of the she-bird will surely be taken while our claws shred flesh. Dare we join forces to overcome the carrion lord, only to be torn once more by conflict should we emerge victorious?

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Burden, I feel bad that this thread isn't about me, what should I do? Give it thread of the year award?

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