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With all the sausages that occupy Diplo and the Ask Burden thread, I was thinking that we take our most interesting and freakish sexual questions about women and ask Our, our resident expert on turboporn.

 

 

 

Our, if a girl shows me her dildo and it has a giant fish hook on the end, is that meant to be kinky? Should I be concerned for her well being or mine?

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Great, another way to whore out Our's attention, because she really needs help with that one...

 

That being said, Our, why is it whenever I try to beat my meat someone feels a need to pester me?

 

And no, it isn't always you.

 

Often its Baldy McDatescheatingbitches.

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Wait is she actually going to answer this?

 

She said she would. Give it time.

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She said she would. Give it time.

 

In that case: Our will you be my partner in phedofiling?

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would someone who is a practising lesbian be more useful on this topic than a theoretical lesbian?

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I always thought Our was a dude.

 

Oy Vey.

 

Everyone's a dude on the internet.

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Our, do you think I should buy a boat.

 

I'm nowt Our, but I think you should buy a boat. Nothing under 28 feet though.

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Yay Q&A.

Our, if a girl shows me her dildo and it has a giant fish hook on the end, is that meant to be kinky? Should I be concerned for her well being or mine?

It's meant to be kinky. You should be concerned for both your well beings, as I've never seen a dildo like that.

Do lesbians enjoy eating each other out while they're on their rags?

Generally speaking no. Blood isn't exactly what you're looking to taste.

That being said, Our, why is it whenever I try to beat my meat someone feels a need to pester me?

There's two possible explanations.

 

The first: There is a grand conspiracy out there meant to keep you from masturbating at any time possible.

 

The second: You masturbate more often than you don't, meaning if you assume people message you at entirely random times, the majority will end up being while you are masturbating.

Our, can you taste the rainbow?

I'm not entirely sure.

 

Its simply too big of a stretch. Are you trying to tell me the rainbow tastes exactly like fruit? Bullshit.

Wait is she actually going to answer this?

Yes.

OUR AND NEKO EATING OUT?

It was the loveliest little diner.

In that case: Our will you be my partner in phedofiling?

I'm not into little girls. Or little boys. I prefer animals to children.

would someone who is a practising lesbian be more useful on this topic than a theoretical lesbian?

I've gotten around in the last year. For better or worse.

Dear Our,

 

Do you guys scissor or something?

 

Sincerily,

MaceMaul

I have yet to do so but it does happen outside of porn. You really need to be smooth down there though for it to work- I've heard from people who did it with even just a little fuzz and was told it was painful.

Why are you a lesbian? Don't you like penises or the rough way a man acts?

I'm a lesbian because I like women and don't like men in a romantic manner.

 

To give you an answer probably more in line of what you were looking for: current science is showing that psychological sexual orientation isn't something you choose, but just is.

 

A penis is fine too but I'm just not interested in men.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to set up the ladder, one to screw in the lightbulb and another to use the ladder as a stripper pole.

Dear Our,

 

are all lesbians feminists? i surely think so

Depends on what you mean by feminist.

 

If you mean "RAEG I HATE MEN PENISES ARE DISGUSTING BRAS ARE OPPRESSION DEVICES", you're not talking about feminists but feminazis. Everybody hates them.

 

If you mean feminist in the sense of supporting womens rights and pushing for equality (actual equality- not "women are given the same chances as men but with extra perks" equality) then, well, maybe not all of them but probably a larger percentage than the population at large.

Our, do you think I should buy a boat.

Depends on what you're going to use it for.

 

Boats are fun though so if its just to go boating around then its probably a good idea if you'de enjoy it. Just don't open up a shrimping company.

Dear Our,

 

Banana Peppers or Peppery Bananas?

Peppery bananas. Banana peppers are terrible, peppery bananas are at least novel.

Dear Our,

 

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a ...

A-one

A-two-hoo

A-three

*chomp*

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Our, when are you going to post a picture of yourself? I promised, I won't fap to it. I can't speak for Infy though.

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You just did though, indirectly. Besides, and no offense, I have far better things to do with my penis.

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Our, when are you going to post a picture of yourself? I promised, I won't fap to it. I can't speak for Infy though.

When it stops being a retarded idea to do so.

 

So in all likelyhood never.

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Our, you have Hilary Clinton, Oprah, and the Queen of England. Fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!

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