A few weeks ago, you may have heard about the blaze that engulfed the roof and spire of the Notre Dame Cathedral, a French landmark that really needs no introduction or further description. Most people just know what the Notre Dame is without being told. It is hugely symbolic of Parisian identity and although it was built in far different scenario of medieval feudalism than our modern experience, the Cathedral gives Parisians, the French, and Westerners at large a sense of belonging and identity. It is quite amazing then, that the French who are majority non-religious, hold such high regard and attachment to a symbol and icon of Catholicism and Christianity. It is then a sad thought to think that the majority of Diploers, who are now interacting with each other solely on discord, an instant [gratification] chat format, have lost their sense of belonging and identity that is provided by our self-hosted community.
French President Macron likened the Cathedral to “the place where we have lived all of our great moments, the epicenter of our lives”. Similar to the great cathedral, Diplo’s 11 year recorded history of all our laughs, arguments, agreements and disagreements are all embodied, codified and preserved in our self-hosted community forum. Nevertheless, things will always go to shit, and if we as Diploers do not keep our home maintained, we won’t have a community to hand off, let alone values to impart, to the future generation of Diplo shitlords. Diplo would continue to exist as a soulless husk, a community with no awareness of its past, and hence, no guiding compass to travel to its future.
It is in our nature to try and create structures and institutions that will outlast us in a fruitless egoic attempt to live forever. It's our natural leaning to want to preserve something against the force of nature that will end up destroying everything we’ve built, surely even the pyramids of Egypt will not outlive the infinite test of time it will endure. We must be honest with ourselves and question whether it's even worth it to try and keep the site and forum alive as they are naturally predisposed for failure. Why bother rebuilding a site that nobody uses when a discord server is so much more convenient and cost efficient.
It is only with that risk of failure that we can truly challenge ourselves to succeed. If everything were easy, if rebuilding the site and forums were easy, if writing content that people would read were easy, if building the Notre Dame was easy, we wouldn’t value these things as much as we do. Discord too won’t last. When the next technological advancement comes in the realm of community building, there will be no way to transfer our community’s history, achievements, memes, shitposts, banter off to the next frontier.
Only 10 years ago, online message boards were the bleeding edge of online communication. Then came reddit, then skype and teamspeak, and now discord. How can a community retain its identity with these constant shocks to the community building system? The only answer that retains a community’s identity is that which builds integrations and connections between past and future, a solution for all times. My view going forward is that, like the Notre Dame, we should build a community for all times, not just for the time we currently find ourselves living in.
So I say, lets not build a hut of straw and reeds. We should build a Notre Dame.
I have exciting news for you all today. The Diplomunion integration with the Tapatalk forum webhook app is complete, which means that Diplo is now fully integrated with an app that is as intuitive to use and navigate as twitter or facebook. The integration means you’ll also be able to subscribe to and/or follow content on the site you’d like to receive notifications for, filling a void in functionality that left forums struggling against discord and other social media platforms.
It enables something as simple as having a Diplomunion.com on your phone’s menu page.
But it does so much more than that. It integrates the whole forum into an easily navigable experience for mobile users. If 56% of our users are mobile users then now they will be able to experience the site with much more ease as well as more frequently with the ability to get mobile push notifications.
Per my personal preference, the settings I have in place notify me of any rating I receive or any post that’s made in a thread I have created in or posted in. This means I receive an instant notification whenever activity has been generated by another member. In the example here, I received a notification from @war4life in a test thread I made This notification vibrated my phone and sent me a notification on my lock screen, resulting in a higher level of engagement from me.
Within the tabs of the app, you’ll find that you are able to also view a timeline, where you can see all the posts being made on the forum posted in chronological order, similar to the feed we have on the site’s frontpage. You can also filter to only view unread, subscribed or participated posts in this view.
Additionally, you can also view your private messages as well as notifications in the last two tabs.
Download the Tapatalk app from your phone’s App-store, create an account and search for the Diplomunion Forum group. Its that simple. Message me if you have any issues.
Removing your signature:
Open the Tapatalk app and click on the cog for settings. Follow the link to signature and disable. This will remove the signature message posted at the bottom of every message you post from mobile.
This was a long time coming and I’m happy to make and continue making updates to the flagship of our community, the forums. My hope is that this integration will improve engagement and activity on our forum with the goal of returning our community infrastructure to one thats self hosted and controlled solely by us.
Hi all, if you happen to be reading this, then you're probably here because it's a recent post on your feed or because you're frustrated with how the game crashes and came to the site to see if there was any mention of the issue. The game crashes a player when they select certain caster units, such as when you select the Forest High Troll Priest individually. Unfortunately a simple patch was not sufficient to fix that, as previous versions of LOTSW relied upon a special mapping feature no longer available with the modern editor following updates made to Warcraft 3 by Blizzard. The feature was that I was able to make the rock terrain unpathable without having to lay down pathing blockers. I have since laid down thousands and thousands of pathing blockers, but I also began work on an overhaul of LOTSW in the process. LOTSW is fun to play, but the scene essentially died out, and it's not in-shape to be played competitively due to issues such as its economy.
Here is a set of features for LOTSW. Some of these already exist for the current LOTSW, and others will sound strange, and I may change them later pre or post-release, but I want to differentiate the map in some ways instead of it being a map you've played before but simply set in Warcraft's Second War.
Possible renaming of the map to Warcraft: The Second War, or an alternative name. This is because "Legends of the Second War" is a really long name in the game list, which gives hosts almost no room to add descriptors to the game name if they wish to. The map name also contains no key terms referencing the Warcraft universe, resulting in many passersby thinking the map is related to WW2. A lobby name with LOTSW also means nothing to passersby.
The map is set during Warcraft’s second war, featuring classic heroes, factions and events in a map of epic scale
6 vs 6 setup with no unallying. A 7v7 setup may be considered with the addition of Kul Tiras and the Black Tooth Grin Clan (the latter controlled the area around the Dark Portal)
Historical colors. Where possible, I will match player colors (in-game, not the lobby) to the faction's historical color in the Second War. Matching will not be perfect though because some factions share the same color, and some colors (black, white) are confusing in-game or for the minimap.
Polished tooltips, buffs, buttons etc.
Revivable heroes (except for Lothar and Gul’dan)
Armies are not spawn based
Worldwide XP distribution between friendly, alive heroes, with all heroes starting at level 1
Varied hero spells (e.g. a hero's base kit might have an AoE spell, a single target spell, and a passive). I do not really plan to import or code many custom spells, but I do plan to make unconventional usage of existing WC3 spells.
Ample, ample custom models. In the past few years there have been a great deal of unique, varied high quality Warcraft lore related models put out that I plan to take advantage of. These models may look strange when WC3 Reforged releases and classic models have their looks updated, but that's a problem for the future.
Each player has a unique, clean, full techtree, e.g. they will have light and heavy melee, ranged, air, siege, and casters that have needed spells such as some sort of heal or dispel.
Leaver income is distributed amongst remaining allies
Leaver heroes can be claimed, transferring ownership
Gold income is sourced through capitals (which are rebuildable if recaptured) and capturable points
Income is every 30 seconds, so you don’t wait long if you’re out of gold
Lumber is sourced through tree harvesting
Creep camps drop unique items granting small power-ups
There will be 2-3 unique shops per faction that sell items with a diverse array of uses - enemy players can buy from these shops
Towers cannot be freely built: they are pre-placed, capturable, and upgradeable
My current progress is that I have laid down all needed pathing blockers, reterrained Stormwind and the surrounding area, and redone the Thandol Span. I have redesigned about 3 factions and cleaned up a huge amount of disorganized, legacy object data and tooltips. I estimate the map's release to occur this Summer.
Greetings fellow Diploers. It is with great honor and privilege that I can announce our first gaming event of 2019. This one will be focused on Warcraft 3, Company of heroes 2, and Heroes of the Storm. If you have any ideas or suggestions for any of these games, or would like to be a community officer for one of our events, please contact me or @The_Phalanx.
5/3 Friday Warcraft 3:
Community Officer: (@War4life, or @cell_destroyer ??)
Footmen vs Grunts
Genesis of Empires 1
War of the 12 kingdoms
Rise of China
Hungry, Hungry Felhounds
Rise of Ellesetia
5/4 Saturday Company of Heroes 2:
5/5 Sunday Heroes of the Storm:
@Abdel 10pm to 12am.
@Trockenmatt Heroes Draft 6pm to 8:30pm
To take part in the Warcraft: Armageddon discussion, follow the link here:
“We never paid any heed to the ancient prophecies. Like fools we clung to the old hatreds, and fought as we had for generations. Until the day the sky rained fire, and a new enemy came upon us. We stand now, upon the brink of destruction, for the Armageddon has come at last.”
Warcraft: Armageddon is a 24 player map that pits the Alliance(6) vs the Horde(6) vs the Illidari(3) vs the Scourge(3) vs the Legion(3) vs the Old Gods(3). The map utilizes assets from Warcraft: Total War including; the tech system, capturable map mechanics (Trolls/Elemental Lords/Dragon Aspects), and mercenaries. It will focus on having unique factions compared Total War it terms of faction design, events, and heroes.
Alliance: Stormwind - Blue 2, Night Elves - Teal 3, Ironforge - Yellow 5, Gilneas - Lavender 20, Draenei - Snow 22, Kul’Tiras - Emerald 23
vs Horde: Orgrimmar - Red 1, Trolls/Tauren - Orange 6, Forsaken - Pink 8, Garrosh - Brown 12, Blood Elves - Wheat 17, Goblins - Mint 19
Illidari: Illidan - Green 7, Akama/Vashj - Peach 18, Kael’thas - Peanut 24
vs Scourge: Lich King - Purple 4, Cult of the Damned - Dark Green 11, Knights of the Ebon Blade - Coal 21
Legion: Argus - Grey 9, Satyr - Light Blue 10, Dreadlords - Maroon 13
Old Gods: N’Zoth - Navy 14, Yogg-Saron - Turquoise 15, C’thun - Violet 16
Colors/Player #’s may change.
The starting fights based on initial unit layout are roughly Alliance vs Horde taking place in the great sea and off the coast line. The Illidari vs the Legion taking place in Outland, the Twisting Nether, and all the way to Argus. And the Undead Scourge vs the Old Gods, with Yogg-Saron beleaguered in Northrend by the Undead.
-Control Point/Income based gameplay.
-Lumber is Tech. Tech is acquired through defeating World Bosses, owning Capitals, or finding rare items.
-Capturable map mechanics such as the Mercenaries Troll Empires, Elemental Lords, and Dragon Aspects.
Balance Concerns and Philosophy
I try to lightly touch on this as I will implement a few ideas from the beginning but would like to try to achievement ‘balance’ though gameplay observation, feedback, and my own experience with playing the map. I also don’t want to turn this into to big of a wall of text as it’s a topic that will likely have its own thread. Nevertheless, with 2 teams of 6 I feel it's helpful to share some of the balance ideas the map will initially have.
Almost all the Alliance/Horde players will start with 2 heroes with their 3rd/4th heroes requiring a quest, usually far and involving conflict with other teams. The teams of 3 (Illidari, Undead, etc.) will generally start with 3 heroes and will be able to get more than most Alliance/Horde players.
I will be using the Handicap function to give the smaller teams a stronger baseline army. They will start at 125% but can be brought down with the loss of an important unit such as a base or hero. Ex. Yogg-Saron’s forces start at 125% but if the actual Yogg-Saron is captured his units will drop to 100%, bringing them inline with a single Alliance or Horde player.
The Alliance and Horde are all very spread out while the smaller teams are a little more concentrated and are able to assist each other. The Illidari and Undead are very concentrated and the Legion/Old Gods have the resources and means to support their allies.
Armageddon will be ported to Warcraft 3: Reforged and development will continue from that point as well. With that in mind Beta will continue till after the release of Reforged when the map is ported and stable. Otherwise there is a great deal planned for the map in terms of content and gameplay. Stay tuned! 🙂
World Map (for some reason the water disappears around Northrend when viewed at this height)
Northrend, Broken Isles, and North Eastern Kingdoms
Kul’Tiras and South Eastern Kingdoms
Kaldimor (Angeled shot to get it all)
Outland & Illidari Instances
Twisting Nether, Nathreza, and Argus
Release Date(Playable Beta): Early-Mid May 2019
Special Thanks to RedPanda for his encouragement with the map. Early on I asked him to always keep on hounding me to work on the map for which I am extremely grateful! He was even entrusted with a few tasks (unit sounds, placing units, and others mundane but necessary) and is the only other person to have worked on the map directly. There is no question, without him this project would not be at the point its at now.
Thanks to Abdel @Diplomunion.com for the amazing logo!
Google Doc Link: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1JwggYj0_zjDlnq4JWxWG7SVmZyDnvynydmF_8GxarSo
The roster composed of people i know little and people i wish i knew less (Dayne) has finally arrived. This roster will NOT be useful for the tournament that is destined to fail since there’s not a cohesive community around the game. This will be kept short, as it’s likely Spencer will tear a quad while reading this.
Battle Prowess: Means how efficient you are utilizing your armies, in terms of how many units can you kill without having many deaths in your own army. It's basically microing.
Hero Targeting: How efficient you are at using your heroes and killing enemy (or allied) heroes, it also takes into account how effective you are with each colour, so spare us the “i got 20 hero kills as LB/Red!!”.
Plays: A big x-factor for player talent, how creative and impactful are the plays you make.
Teamwork: How well you work with your team, including setting up team fights, doing objectives together and TEAM HEALING.
Mentality: The mental strength of the player, how much he can handle adversity, stay focused and not bring everyone else down with him. Very important in competitive matches and for team cohesion in long-term.
Awareness: How aware the player is of everyone else’s movements, including the enemies and themselves if there are multiple battles where he’s involved.
For the next songs, just add "repeat" after youtube in the link and songs will automatically repeat.
A legend in BFME, but not so much in RR. Infact, not at all. Also has legendary disdain for honourable members of the community such as Nubz. Despite this, he has become very proficient at managing the LOTR community in wc3, as it is rumoured he has a harem of 70 euro sluts ready to please him whenever he claps, with Assa being his top hoe. Arguably one of the best players in the game, he has mastered the art of building farms in the middle of nowhere and having rough hate fuck sex with koreans which go by the name “private matches”.
The pal. Also known as the “Jannetty”. Used to be one of the biggest and strongest athletes in Pakistan, until recently when he was outed as a flat track bully who wants overpowered heroes waving armies down and no collision between units so as to avoid learning proper footwork. After failing to get ring wars over as a prominent map due to having the terraining skills of a Humvee driving through play doh, he arrived on the fields of Westeros. Initially, he struggled to adapt to RR’s QWER system due to being used to the c-v-b-k-l-ñ hotkeys of RW, however, he still obtained victories due to his manager Glorf running interference in his matches and cheating to help him win.
In time, he became one of greatest warriors in Robert's Rebellion and usually had to avoid using revealing clothing for fear of Assassin being fascinated with him. He was at his best and reached the top 1% of players, pleasuring himself by german suplexing other players 20 times in a game and big leaguing everyone in sight. For some time, he was truly the undisputed champion of RR.
But just like Mike Tyson at his peak got together with Don King and went downhill, so did the pal meddle with the wrong kind of people, in the form of Dayne. He became his partner in crime, the most hated heel tag team in the business and both proceeded to reach unrecorded levels of pettiness, by bullying Onlooker and synister_ and sharing pictures of their exploits on their instagram joint account.
After meeting dayne, his gimmick changed. He began wearing clown makeup to his matches, gained saggy mantits, his cholesterol levels rose and became bloated, even breaking the undisputed belt strap with his gut. Nowadays, he’s only in RR for the money, he plays as a part-timer once every 3 months and as soon as his match ends, he will leave in his helicopter, not interacting with any fans or team members. It is only by destroying the negative influence of dayne, that the old pal can come back to being the undisputed champion.
A succesful result of cross-species interbreeding after the last one failed (ie. EagleMan), Pandaman enjoys creative use of bamboo sticks in 24 player sexual orgies, while also enjoying Robert’s Rebellion. He’s one of the few knights left with honour in RR, as long as he participates in the captain role, otherwise he risks losing all of it. This cute animal also evolved to protect any lesser creature that seeks him out, such as the.dude, from more skilled opponents. He will also pee on the.dude’s head frequently to ward off any potentially dangerous predators when he’s not around. Recently, he was made an honourable knight of GoTE for his efforts against HOTJ.
Now here we have someone who is the very definition of “bad pussy”. It’s been a long torturous ride for Reaver. From being in the banjo relegation league, to rising into the RobReb all-star team. Unfortunately, his newfound skill set doesn’t match his social skillset, preferring to garb out one word insults while gobbling on food “mghrhr noob, mhrmghr faggot”. Reaver is one of the greatest warriors on the field, however it is rumoured he has one fatal weakness, with his dick becoming flaccid when you take away his overpowered archer volley or his Vale elite knights. Once castrated from his preferred weapons, Reaver becomes like any other RR player, making him very reliant on playing orange or blue.
One of the driving forces behind RR, when he realized his BFME career was over. He read all 50 pages of Sun Tzu’s art of war in one year, misinterpreting it into thinking he needs at least an 80% chance of winning to be willing to play. This also extends to needing the biggest steak in a BBQ, the sturdiest legos in the house and the most fetid shit in the toilet.
The constant search for having the game balance suited to his needs may be a properly developed Munchausen syndrome, which means Assassin will need every psychological defense mechanism to be able to withstand an auction draft with players he may not know. This excessive preoccupation about not having the advantage leads him to forget his own skills, so whichever captain acquires him must nurse him every now and then to remind him he’s a good player and doesn’t need all of the gold in the world. But not all is negative in this attitude, it reminds us of a fundamental philosophical question of our time, the difference between needing and wanting. The latest of his accomplishments is writing a 1.100 page manuscript on how to play RR, just short of lacking the epilogue on how to imbalance and stack teams, a great short read for newcomers.
The gift that keeps on giving things that nobody asked for in the first place. EagleMan is currently the only running candidate for worst GoTE chieftain of all time for single handedly running it to the ground and tanking the active player base. He’s one of those kings that don’t inspire any loyal following , only appearing during feasts with a phantom of the opera mask on, insulting the nobles with word play and double entendre for 15 minutes and then immediately leaving to his chambers afterwards. During the entirety of his reign, he never once described his tax policies or gave orders to his small council. Various court nobles have described him as asexual and mysterious, carefully hiding his intentions until it’s too late for his political rivals to notice, perhaps this is why Eagle has accumulated more heads on spikes than actual loyal recruits for his clan. They also have noted many of his more bizarre behaviours, such as asking people if they had a shower multiple times during the day, spend the time in his chambers randomly calling people and hanging up before they answer, take an entire 2 hours to drink a cup of wine he drinks with a small golden spoon, and last but not least, getting his nails done only to look at them like they’re about to explode.
It may seem that he has the total personality of half a Keanu Reeves, with his immaculate appearance of soft white hands and wearing soft angry birds slippers, but one look at his history reveals the multiple undeserved bannings, power abuses, backstabbings, coup d’ tats and mentally torturing of people. His ruthlessness is also well documented, as once he’s angered, his chest will turn red like a machine from I robot and will have no problem chopping any heads off. Possessing the ability to remain emotionally detached and unmoved after watching the deaths of his allied armies after refusing to send help, his house maids will note there’s always white stains on the sheets the very next morning after this happens. Nobody knows why this happens.
Having never bled before for the clan he usurped, he became interested in RR in an attempt to save his reputation in front of his clan. Once inside a battle, he becomes laser focused to the point that drool starts falling onto his keyboard while he obsessively tries to snipe an enemy spawn. All of this while pretending to listen to team’s plans, only to selfishly abandon his team which goes into big battles with one EagleMan less. He also has no qualms about creating an army of EagleBots and overloading discord channels. All of the qualities previously mentioned and his frequent charges into the enemy generals make him one of the most dangerous players in the roster of Robert’s Rebellion.
The night king himself of the Japanese Hikikomori. He’s barely known in the RR community, but everyone from ISH fears him, as he has a higher apm than all of the roster combined. Numudan has barely played in RR, but once he learns each colour, he will be a forced to be reckoned with due to the korean fingers he possesses.
One half of the root admins of the OG discord, he adds the “old” in Old Guard. Traumatized by having half of his face burnt by inraky in the past and having to get a 3 year long medical license, Bolvar carries this lifelong wound with him, leaving him with eyes filled with sadness and trembling in terror at the sight of any form of competition. Armed with a flawless ability to procrastinate and his “never give up, just don’t participate” attitude, Bolvar will seek to change the course of his history and redeem his embarrassing first tournament performance.
GRR Martin himself, who takes 3 years to bring out an update and is the promised prince to lead the community to the promised land in the form of the ASOAIF/RR hybrid, however this has the same chances of being released as GRR Martin releasing his final 2 books. Due to the devotion he has for his friends, he adds -emote’s for them, so as to signal when they are sexually aroused and want to begin the mating ritual. Being the mapmaker, he knows every dirty trick in the book, his weapon of choice is the paper mache (scratch) ironfleet, which he uses to rain down landings upon landings over lannisters, usually ending with the Pyke getting burnt down 5 minutes after.
The eunuch of the community. There is a sharp contrast between the fluidity of his accent with the disaster that are his game movements. His strategy consists of staying away from big battles, using his one control group for archers in an attempt to damage the enemy, which has the impact of being thrown a pack of gummy bears. Once he has lost his precious archers, he will proceed to flip-flop throughout the battlefield in a spastic manner and lose all of his heroes. 13th has such a disorienting personality that it will make you think you walked into an episode of the Twilight Zone with no real personality. The only real discernible personality trait in him is his neediness for Panther, his insatiable hunger for sucking on his nipples along with the distinct brown nose he wears whenever he leaves panther’s room. Panther has also taught him the proper moves in the devil’s tango. But his heart is in store for another person, in the form of Super_Trunks, who he fights alongside like a sacred theban band and also sleeps and baths with, like a sacred theban band. Together, they possess the power of love, capable of beating anyone in the battlefield (scratch) each other off.
11- the.dude / Hannicuck / Cuckibal / Hannibal Barcuck / the.cuck / his cuckness / el cuckerino / Brian Cringe
The second most successful mapmaker of wc3, having created the immensely popular Warcraft: Total War with 1 million sales within the first week and over 100 GB of content. A map nigh unparallelled, only surpassed by Sukramo’s Third War. Managed to acquire a lady-friend (wife) when they both realized she was into the whole brevity thing. Also acquired another friend, as when his wife’s boyfriend walked into the house, sat on his couch and started playing with his Nintendo Switch, Brian abided. This means he also has to take care of his wife’s son by buying him Godzilla toys, which may hurt brian’s chances of playing a game uninterrupted.
As for the skills, this is a complex player to analyze, you know a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. What remains in the end is that any kind of aggression he takes towards an opponent will not stand, and he will have to go brown-nose daddy lance to bail him out. In absence of lance, he will seek security in his wife’s boyfriend or go bowling, dodging RR. If you acquire him as a player, he will really tie the team together, but don’t expect him to be bowling ten pins without the help of his dad Lance.
A warrior of unparalleled integrity, known for delivering on his promises, such as his promise to leave RR and quitting it for a total amount of 3 nights and 2 days with the luxury suite included. He’s back from his vacations and now wants to take no prisoners, only needing 2 hour blocks to conquer the kingdom.
The name radagast was picked when he tried to convince 4 other friends to name themselves after the Istari wizards, unfortunately nobody else followed him. Carefully chosen to be the scapegoat of the HOTJ community in the case of any loss, it is said that Elessar harnessed nuclear and solar energy in an attempt to power up his rhosgobbel rabbits and give him more mobility in games. Being the Trench] of their own community, it is expected that he is the go-to punching bag for any jokes made at someone’s expense. For mysterious reasons, he seems to acquire bonus damage against koreans. Radagast will attempt to become a prominent player by volunteering to captain, despite only knowing 15% of the players. It is also expected his strategy will consist of acquiring euro’s only, due to their penchant for endogamy in tournaments.
"Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
Spankfurt has joined voice chat."
The man willing to donate his ass when someone has to be taught the ways of his people from Nova Scotia. This ancient tradition of his to be given the reacharound constantly has resulted in our dear Spencer becoming temporarily a cripple and needing a wheelchair to move. Fortunately, he can still lower the height of his chair to punish someone with the ol’ Hoover maneuver and get his mouthwash.
A quick tip for the captain of any team with this man, he’s got a big mouth, it’s better to put it to use on pleasuring somebody instead of letting him bark out tactics in the form of potential blunders. Preferring to get red faced and clenching his teeth while attempting to bring everyone down like a sinking cruiser instead of copying with reality, once Spencer loses focus in the game, he will use Displacement into the nearest possible target and begin shitting watery diarrhea all over his own team. His in-game roaring got so loud that Metro Goldwyn Mayer hired him to get down on all 4 limbs and start filming him for their next feature presentation intro. If you find yourself in voice chat with him, one spoken word can lead you to bite yourself to extract the venom and hope you age quickly to speed up the process of hearing loss. His voice chat behaviour in HoTS led to him being referred to as “That Thing”.
The origins of this monster creature go back to his premature birth, after he scared away his mother’s umbilical cord by shouting “This amniotic fluid was not SEASONED, YOU FUCKING DONKEY”. Following this, he had a childhood marked by acting out whenever he didn’t receive his pacifier and introducing the concept of fingering to other kids.
Once he was grown, he started disguising himself as an eloquent host, he will try to keep up an image for the community and loudly tell anecdotes, to distract everyone away from the inordinate amount of skeletons in his closet. Only a few know the hidden truth, that choosing to become a friend of Spankfurt is a bigger horror story than a night stay at Clegane keep. Fleeting doubts about his britishness were dissipated when he got back his DNA results (scratch) confessed attraction for Maisie Williams.
Nowadays he has acquired his wc3 loicense and become the Master of Coin of the community, which means he spends his time getting the kingdom in debt to organize the RR tournament and seething at eagleman’s full set of hair.
If you have been in one drovermodz game, you have seen all of them. You must have heard the weeping in the north and the constant whining about the pathing or why isn’t everyone playing Battle for Middle Earth. This means that drover likes his comfort zone, and anything not remotely resembling his comfort zone will throw him into a fit and possibly end up in a rage quit to go host his own lobby. Whenever drover can manage to keep his emotions in check, he has the potential to be a strong player.
Hailing from Cataluña, chabal manages to be America’s Most Blunted despite living in another continent. True to his spanish ancestry, he also carries a 90 year old man’s smoker raspy voice, which feels like 120 decibels hitting you in the face. A member of far-right party Vox, he took up his weed smoking habits after his idol Nick Diaz, who has the same brain damage chabal has despite suffering 10000 more strikes to the head. Every game he sees himself as the leader of the reconquista and hopes to guide his team into a victory, but all of this results in a military disaster. He has been observed giving up games like they were spanish colonial holdings in South America. Should you manage to acquire this Cani (spanish version of a chav) for your team, you might be lucky enough to get to watch his hardstyle celebration dance to the tune of psychedelic techno: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZN4cDaPr8o
The story of the man who fell down harder than lucifer from the sky. One of those entities that just seem to come back for more after plenty of offscreen deaths, albeit everytime he reincarnates, he loses pieces of himself. Most lately, it’s been any identifiable speck of skill. He plays less frequently nowadays, since he reports pre-fight shaking, dry mouth, voice quivering, tunnel vision, sweaty palms and bowel loosening before a match. It’s also reported that he prefers staring at the abyss instead of joining his friend’s games. His current lack of impact in games leads one to question whether his soul has withered away, or if it was ever there in the first place, with jim becoming a scarecrow of a man.
Fortunately, he’s not a serial ragequitter, only choosing to do so in almost invariably the most crucial of games. These antics have led him to be the former N.1 player of WW1 ISH and losing all his prestige in his community, not even being counted among the top 5 anymore.
Ragequitting as Great Britain was pinpointed as the moment he jumped the shark, all of his stock plummeted and lost the will to live. Once he couldn’t perform anymore in his favourite game, his subsequent internal pressure to cope with this made him explode like the cork of a shaken champagne bottle. Certainly, this man didn’t count his blessings and now he’s paying for it by being somewhat of a white walker in the community, a myth about someone that was supposed to be a top player at some point many years ago.
Truth be told, he was always a punching bag in diplo, a sitcom character if you will, the wacky zany character who kept stumbling in to tell tales of his binges and have to be dragged through the floor at the end of the episode. Whenever there weren’t any guardian angels around to save him in a night’s drinking, he could be found on the next morning crawling and carpet surfing for the last milligram of cocaine.
All of these have taken a toll on his body and nowadays jim moves with the grace of a corpse that belongs in the crypts of Winterfell and will look forward to making absolutely no effort in any of his games. It’s not only in the battlefield where jim shows how jaded he is, it is in the social scene where he truly shines, with his favourite hobby involving doxxing diplo’s old guard and lusting after the wives of discord admins. It seems Jim is lately guided by his brainstem, acting like a junkie despite being able to test negative in any drug tests, and everytime he steps into a field he will last less than an Argentinian football manager.
The undisputed master of the autistic screech, pusan seems to have found a new liking for mini games where you get chased around by a muscular butt naked man yelling ANG. Due to his patriotic rendition of the Emu war, he’s a wannabe commander, whichever team he is in will be subjected to an extravagant amount of orders that will inevitably lead his team to an unfavourable bloodbath, known as the Meat Grinder. His biggest achievements so far are raiding fishing villages and only losing 95% of his army after a battle. This leads to everyone on both team wanting to see him get shot down in slow motion like Willem Dafoe in Platoon.
Somehow getting root admin on different discords, he manages to commit numerous atrocities with impunity and an impotent jimmy watching him from his cage, unable to stop him. He will rave on and on about the bravery and skill of australian troops in WW1 and WW2, but once he faces any adversity in a RR game, he will panic spastically like an insect held beneath a glass. Pusan’s personality style can be described as exhausting, due to having more tics than Zizek’s runny nasal passages and how easy it is to get him to ragequit.
Bowed. Bent. Broken. The one who suffers the chronic condition of being blackjacks. Named after the popular casino banking card game, which he favours since he doesn’t have to play against other players and risk getting exposed. He is also willing to challenge anyone to a fight in real life at a place of his location, only to back down 5 minutes after claiming “it was just a joke!”. Throughout the ages, he has become a symbol of learning after one’s own mistakes, his biggest landmark of self-criticism for his playstyle being wailing out loud “cell stacks!!”. Lately, he has complained of lagging a lot in games, but anyone with a pair of eyes will quickly notice his performance at both 1000 ms and normal ping is practically the same. Blackjacks will be one of the most motivated to prove himself in the tournament, seeking to earn respect from anyone other than himself. He is also hampered by lag issues and brainlag issues, which must be taken into account. A quick tip for any captain, his dick grows considerably bigger when playing teal.
The king of the north, who only plays southern nations and who’s entire skillset relies on having an army twice as big as the enemies by spamming mercenaries instantly. Despite re-reading assassin’s guide over 5 times, he can’t seem to improve. He can be considered a social media whore, due to the proclivity to share his unit kills (not hero kills) after the game and start flossing afterwards to celebrate his victory, seeking to get his belly rubbed by whoever’s reading. Upon closer inspection, it can be deduced he’s a virtuoso of failure whenever not playing green, making him a Tyrell babby.
The man who can take a 1,000 punches and keep on going. The man who will draw his katana sword out if his horrifying performance is criticized. A man who’s last couple of reality checks have rebounded. The amount of pain medication bounty needs to get through a RR match could overdose a buffalo. The supreme over-confidence he has in his skills is a classic example of the emperor has no clothes. However, not because they are afraid of him, but because they don't care enough to tell him. Incapable of any self-reflection, he will accuse others of having meltdowns, but one slight hindrance, one small misfortune, will bring bounty down harder than the Notre Dame Cathedral. But enough negativity about Bounty, let’s highlight some of his positive aspects.
His amount of shit talking would leave Mourinho speechless. He’s fearless in battles, willing to lose his entire army because in his own words “i needed food”. He’s still a better rocket league player over the people who haven’t gotten the game yet or have stopped playing it. For any captain wishing to hire his services, just remember, once you go with the hack, there’s no going back.
Kid Trunks, the legend from maps such as DBZ Tribute and DBZ Rampage. Recently, he has made the transition to different maps, which resulted in an attempt to control more than one hero at the same time, leading to a catastrophic failure. Robert's Rebellion being the most recent example. Whatever doubts remained over his skill level were cleared when he failed to break through synister_’s iron islands for over 40 minutes. Data from Dr. Gero suggests that Trunks’ cognitive limit in his brain can only handle 30 units at the same time, his very own Dunbar’s number, which means he has to suicide units continuously to keep himself being able to function. Well versed in psychological warfare, he will use slams 10 ft away from the opponent, in an attempt to intimidate him away from combat, while shockwaving the complete opposite direction in an attempt to boost himself onward to lunge at his enemies. If you want the real deal though, you must know he gets a +5 bonus on every stat when he forms the Mighty Mask team with 13th.
Used to be the leader of one of warcraft 3’s greatest communities until something broke in his mind and he fell out of Cniper’s wheel of winning. This led to him choosing to resign and build a wall in the middle of the diplo community. After this, he fell down the slippery slope of Cniper Derangement Syndrome after “shitposting for a few days” and became completely unhinged. Unfortunately, his new persona couldn’t be matched by his ability to take a joke, becoming the most easily triggered person of 2019. His new discord couldn’t match the old one either, becoming the virgin abdelcord vs the chad DiploGaming discord. His discord has half the members of cnipercord, and also has Krotos as an advisor instead of Walrus. It was proclaimed to be a return to old diplo but abdel started banning and demoting people faster than Cniper could finish his high-pitched laughter.
This clear failure to triumph in the social networks led Abdel to recur to some questionable tactics and despicable behaviour. Due to Cniper living rent free in his head, he began creating spy accounts to check out DiploGaming’s roaring success. He started donating to Ayuoobi’s Islamic Radicalization Centre. He ceased and desisted playing warcraft 3 with his subdits. He warned to send an army of lawyers towards Cniper and DiploGaming forcing them to change the name, only to get outmaneuvered by Cniper and checkmated in 2 turns with a simple name change. At first glance, it may seem that he was threatening legal action for a fairly trivial amount of money, but in reality Abdel’s aggregate emotional damage after the schism could be estimated into 7 digits, maybe even more. All of this led to abdel’s closest friends rescinding their invitations for him due to how deranged he became.
After he realized the pissing contest was over and his feet were stained in pee, he began to turn his attention towards gaming again. He used to love Heroes of the Storm playing the support role with DPS characters, so surely it could be simple. To his own dismay, he couldn’t handle more than one game a night before collapsing on the floor exhausted, he had become Low Energy Abdel. Added to this, he developed a crippling fear of being forgotten in time, seeing as he needs at least 1 GB worth of his posts stored online for all eternity. It seems Abdel is losing on every front in his life lately, perhaps he can redeem himself by winning the tournament.
Born of the same breed of dayne’s cowardice. It is not by mere wit or clever observations that he calls attention upon himself, but with the simplicity of just being a trainwreck, you simply cannot look away from it. Frankly, i don’t think there’s ever been a bigger natural born asswipe. Whether he’s in a lobby or in-game, a dizzying torrent of shit coming out of his mouth that would get him permanently unable to board a plane in China’s social credit system. Once he decides to troll a game, he will turn on his predator heat vision and let the hunt begin. His plays usually consist of charging into a base at the start of the game only to be surrounded by buff sweaty men and gettin sodomized. He will routinely lose all heroes and ragequit after this, ruining countless games. At the mere suspicion of being held accountable for his actions and confronted, he will quickly flee to a farmer vs hunter. As you can see, this is the behaviour of a man who’s frontal lobe is in deep need of being repaired. Nowadays he larps as a spiritual guru in an attempt to masquerade how washed up he is.
The “straight man” of the diplo sitcom, always reacting to the things other people do. Everyone should be proud that he’s a grown man now that makes his own decisions, decisions that he will revert a couple of days after. From the moment he stepped into RR, he was just like Ned Stark as the hand, not knowing how to play the game of thrones and getting ganged within a couple of episodes by a pack of rabid vipers charging at him with the force of a gladiatorial chariot. Once he thinks he has settled into the game, he will get his head chopped before the first season even ends.
Known for quitting the game before it has even started due to premature ejaculation, it’s hard to tell if Walrus would last a whole tournament, let alone 5 minutes. He’s one of the most laid back characters in the show, which has resulted in a man so ridiculously down to earth, he’s developed a fear of air travel. His skills can be regarded as slightly below average, a medium talent at best, and usually needs the help of bigger authority figures to thrive. He’s found to be battling with such an outdated style that he may aswell be playing on an arcade machine. Whether Walrus is in the battlefield or attempting to reconnect with abdel, he’ll be sure to disappoint everyone.
Due to his infantil demeanour combined with his harlmess look, he was one of the finalists in the audition to play Chucky in the remake of Child’s play. Arguably the biggest coward and wanker of the community, and it’s not even a contest. Every time he shows up to play, he will disguise the lack of skill in his playstyle as “trolling”. Completely devoid of any other harmful weapons, he does have one horrifying attack in his arsenal, his clown laugh which induces cochleas into having permanent nerve damage and closing themselves off.
He’s also known as one of the mapmakers of the infamous virgin ASOAIF in contrast to the chad RR. He then proceeded to whore it out to panther, both the map and his own body. Dayne’s desire to troll is so strong, if he saw someone having a seizure, he would put his own dick in their mouth for them to bite on. For this, he can also be described as the male version of daddy issues, gaining attention for all the wrong reasons.
Bors, the originator of the diplo brand, unable to monetize it after 12 years. Also known to be the unofficial leader of the cabal. He’s been in charge of having to keep up a presentable image after caught harassing 90% of diplo members while drunk every single night. These late night antics solidified his position as diplo’s preeminent boomer. Lately, he’s also started grabbing diplo members by the pussy, which led to some recording him to have the evidence ready to be sent to the FBI for his capture. After seeing Cniper turn the old broken diplo bar into a highly successful family friendly multi-store strip centre, he abdicated as CEO and retreated into Abdel’s mosque, never to be seen again after the failed lawyer ambush attack. Or so everyone thought.
Lately, he’s been seen trying to wear no-longer-fitting old armour again for jousting in RR. It’s been a big jump for bors. He went from meeting up with lawyers for diplo’s retaliation and getting laughed at to meeting up with his friends in RR and getting laughed at. But nothing could foresee the shock on the crowd’s faces when the king himself started fighting. Most of what’s been said in this draft are just jokes, but the first time i saw bors play my PC just let out a good 5 second fart noise. His playing was so horripilating and disgraceful, watching him for the first time brought feelings similar to the one Michael McDowell felt while being tortured in A Clockwork Orange. Examining him for a prolonged time leads to an increase in high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, diabetes, stroke, depression and inevitably an early death.
His own teammates started to choke and cough, gasping for air, not realizing what was going on. Nobody understood how he managed to learn how to use a keyboard and a mouse. Bors had the hand dexterity of an early sixteenth century prosthetic hand, which made everyone wonder if he was playing with a virtual reality headset instead of a traditional setup. Whatever the explanation, the story was a prime candidate for Unsolved Mysteries. After watching a man who’s had Warcraft 3 since it came out perform like that, everyone felt like they got scammed by an Enron corporate executive. Nobody thought it could get worse until he signed up for the tournament. Prayers were held at night wishing for him to go to jail for a DUI and starving once inside due to neglect by the guard officers. Assassins were hired to give him man-made “obstructive sleep apnea” at night. For everybody knew undergoing the bors experience can be more terrifying than the fury of three dragons.
The identity of the most prominent hitman in RR remains a mystery (arguably Sir_Leon or Jaime_Lannister), aswell as his unparalleled talents to dodge 10 security cameras, laser sensors and the threat to games equivalent of having a 5 minute conversation with Nubz and Dayne. But now the rains weep o'er his hall, with no one there to hear.
"A lot of you who have played wc3 for over half your lives may recognize my name or know me personally. I've been on the game for 13-14+ years and have been with Diplomunion and Clan GoTE since 2007. I've been part of the Europa and Diplomacy map communities for as long as they've been around and been active with Diplomunion for most of that time, having been an Admin and active member for most of its history. I was part of the late, great Banjoball community before its toxic fumes finally consumed itself, as well as casually dabbling in most Panther maps, LOTR maps, COTH, Asoiaf, and many more over the years
If anyone would like to get to know me, discuss anything, or go over your report cards together I'd be more than happy to. Send me a private message and all of your pains and worries will be gone in no-time.
In addition to this heartfelt and sincere introduction, I would like to take the chance to also announce the Old Guard and Diplomunions first joint-project, a Roberts Rebellion Tournament/League!
We're going to be co-hosting this tournament through the Diplomunion forums, and the Old Guard Discord! it will be an auction draft format, with each captain being given a pot of gold to bid on their best friends and favorite players with. You're going to want a ring-side seat for this one
You can find the forum and sign-up here: https://www.diplomunion.com/forums/forum/201-roberts-rebellion/
Other than that, tell your friends and family, you're not going to want to just be a spectator for this one - @Spankfurt
Thank you for taking the dive and trusting us by rejoining the Diplomunion fold. We're keen to share what our vision for the future of Diplomunion and for you to share your opinion on what direction you'd like Diplomunion to take. We're looking forward to moving away to the constant drama that plagued the community in the past and going back to forging the path in the direction that put Diplo on the map: Warcraft3 and gaming.
The first thing thats different on our discord is that none of the game chats are role locked and none of the voice channels are game specific. We want our community members to be able to see what other people are playing and we want people to communicate and ask each other what they're playing to stimulate interaction between people. We still want people to allow others to game in peace if they're busy in a game but we want a community that interacts with itself and isn't siloed.
Admin-chat is now readable by anyone who is a valued member. Our goal is to answer criticism that the admin staff on Diplomunion in the past has not been transparent enough. Our goal is to use adminchat for every pertinent discussion and in our goal to increase the use of public facing chats used by administrators, we have slow-mode enabled in our secret chat to make its constant use an inconvenience. Unfortunately secret chats are sometimes necessary but my decree is that such a chat would not be used continuously and I will make sure the staff follows this promise.
You'll also find that the forum has been integrated with the discord, allowing for posts on the forum to automatically get posted to the discord. We urge all our members to take advantage of this functionality which will make it easier for Diplo to record its history, retain its identity and strengthen the community all the while enjoying the benefits that discord gives to our community. Overtime, you'll find that more integrations will be created to improve access of Diplo content (warcraft 3 topics and posts webhooked to #warcraft-3 chat on discord for example).
We are preparing for Warcraft 3 reforged by re-assembling the old community that made Diplomunion great. We're working towards refreshing old Diplomunion maps and reconnecting and joining hands with pillars of the community that will help us usher in a new gaming renaissance for Diplomunion.
Here are current notification roles for the games we forsee we will be playing in the future. If someone is abusing a role notify a member of our staff and mute them:
To be notified on games being played:
"/wc3" subscribes you to Warcraft 3 notifications
"/lol" subscribes you to League of Legends notifications
"/gtav" subscribes you to Grand Theft Auto V notifications
"/coh2" subscribes you to Company of Heroes 2 notifications
"/hots" subscribes you to Heroes of the Storm notifications
"/wow" subscribes you to World of Warcraft notifications
"/paradox" subscribes you to Paradox notifications
We'll be launching our first gaming event during the first week of April. Stay tuned for updates.